Episode 621

Cool Crimes

Hosts	Arif Hasan, James Pogatshnik
Guests
Type	Regular Season

Norse Code Episode 621: Cool Crimes was a Week 7 game recap covering the Vikings' win over the Indianapolis Colts, the result that made them the only undefeated team in the NFL. The episode opened with James's objection to a visibly happy Jerry Jones and segued into an extended cold-open digression about the last time the Cowboys appeared in a Super Bowl — identified by the presence of in-stadium flash photography in the broadcast footage, which James offered as evidence of how long ago it was. A long pre-game-recap sidebar featured Arif's account of vomiting on the floor of an Olive Garden as a high school junior, notifying the hostess, cleaning up, and winning a never-ending pasta contest anyway. The game recap covered an offensively disappointing but defensively extraordinary Vikings performance, anchored by one of the most statistically complete linebacker games in NFL history from Blake Cashman and culminating in Harrison Smith's 40th career interception. The mailbag ranged across JJ McCarthy's Giants debut, the geometry of the Brian Flores scheme, John Harbaugh's comparison of Jameis Winston to Winston Churchill and Michael Jordan, and Arif's guide to voting in soil and water conservation district supervisor races. The episode title derives from Arif's election advice near the end of the mailbag: when researching local candidates who lack websites or stated positions, the deciding factor often becomes criminal history, and a distinction must be drawn between uncool crimes (embezzlement, lying about being fired) and cool crimes (being arrested for civil disobedience while protesting for social justice). The latter, per Arif, earns a vote.

Overview

Cold Open: Happy Jerry Jones and the Flash Photography Test

James opened by expressing unease at footage of a visibly elated Jerry Jones following the Cowboys' win over what he described as a zombie version of a bad team — noting that a coach having fun beating a terrible opponent reads as unseemly. Arif partially defended it on grounds that any win should be enjoyed, particularly after a down year. James then flagged the Super Bowl highlight reel the Cowboys had played during the broadcast: their win over the Bills — which he initially recalled as approximately 52–10 — with the tell of in-stadium flash photography visible in the crowd footage, a phenomenon the arena no longer produces because of how modern phones work. He described it as an accidentally accurate gauge of elapsed time: you cannot look at that footage and mistake it for anything that happened in the last 25 years.

The Olive Garden Story

The episode's pre-recap extended sidebar was Arif's account of a never-ending pasta eating contest at an Olive Garden during his junior year of high school. His debate coach, sceptical that a teenager could eat as much as Arif claimed, proposed the contest for the fall pasta season. The debate team was largely unimpressed. Arif was motivated, ate faster than his usual pace, and was handling the contest reasonably well through two bowls before making what he described as a tactically catastrophic choice on the third: Angel Hair, which does not hold up well under volume. Feeling nauseated, he walked away from the table, reached the little hallway area with the half-wall dividers before making it to the bathroom, and vomited on the floor, concealed from the table by the wall height and his own posture. He stood up, walked to the host stand, calmly informed them that somebody had thrown up in the hallway, walked to the bathroom, cleaned up, returned to the table, and ate four more bowls to win. He could not eat pasta for roughly four years afterward. James summarised: "This is a man with zero scruples, zero ethics." Arif's defence was that he had not been paying; the debate coach was. James promised to warn the 730 Tavern Kitchen and Patio staff ahead of the December 8th Boston live show.

Announcements

James confirmed the Vikings as the sole remaining undefeated team in the NFL, referenced the 2007 Patriots and 1972 Dolphins as the watch list comparators, and thanked Jacob Ewing for subscribing on Patreon. The Boston live show was reiterated: December 8th, 7:30 PM, 730 Tavern Kitchen and Patio, Cambridge, Massachusetts, with two Vikings–Patriots game tickets being given away. James noted he was also working on booking what he described as the final live show, with discussion drifting toward the Olive Garden in Times Square as a venue — something the two had apparently proposed before.

Vikings vs. Colts Game Recap

Offensive Disappointment

Arif characterised the game as the clearest possible expression of the Vikings' offensive ceiling problem. The Colts were down their top two corners. The Vikings had their bye week behind them. The opponent had one of the worst defences in the league. None of it mattered, because Kyler Murray could not complete intermediate throws: 18-to-22-yard passes to open receivers were being released behind and above the target in a way that led at least one person to text Arif asking whether something was wrong with Murray's hand. Arif rewatched the game and attributed the problems almost entirely to Murray's accuracy rather than the receivers' separation, the offensive line's protection, or the play-calling scheme — with the caveat that the play-calling had its own independent issues. He described it as the designated get-right game against a weak opponent and argued that an average quarterback running the same offence would have scored around 30 points; the Vikings scored significantly fewer.

He noted that the rushing game was acceptable without being exceptional — Aaron Jones and Jordan Mason both ran fine without having a lot of room — and that Murray's scrambling upside remained genuine. The offensive line's backup left guard had continued to play above the level expected of a replacement. But the cumulative picture was of an offence whose limitations were being driven almost entirely by quarterback inaccuracy on a class of throws that had historically been among Murray's strengths.

Quarterback Rankings Sidebar

James worked through NFL Communications' quarterback rankings from the top down, asking Arif to identify where the line stopped — the first quarterback he would not prefer over Kyler Murray. Josh Allen, Brock Purdy, CJ Stroud, Patrick Mahomes, Jared Goff, Trevor Lawrence, Bryce Young, Drake May, Caleb Williams, Kirk Cousins, Jordan Love, Joe Burrow, and Michael Penix all came back as yes. Matt Stafford as he was playing that season: yes. Jaden Daniels: Arif would take Murray over Daniels, citing injury and situational awareness concerns, but acknowledged there was more on the list. Aaron Rodgers as currently playing: yes. Tyler Shough: yes. Geno Smith: yes, Arif would take Tyler Shough over Murray and Geno Smith too. Dak Prescott: yes, and Arif expressed exasperation that Prescott was ranked 19th when he was playing outstanding football, with the Cowboys context obscuring it. Sam Darnold this season (not the idea of Sam Darnold in the Vikings offence): yes, barely. NFL Communications had Murray at 21. Jacoby Brissett: no, that is where the line stops. Tanner McKee and Deshaun Watson as currently playing rounded out the bottom. Arif reflected that he would genuinely think about Watson's current form over Murray, which he described as a pretty bad place to be. James agreed the team would be a juggernaut with Dak Prescott.

Defensive Masterclass: Blake Cashman

Arif described Blake Cashman's performance against the Colts as one of the best individual games he had ever seen from an off-ball linebacker — unconditionally, not qualified by era or role. The official box score credited him with four pass deflections; PFF recorded three pass breakups. He had three quarterback hits, a pass rush win rate that led the NFL for the week across his 15 qualifying pass rushes, a quick pressure rate that ranked third in the league (pressure in under two and a half seconds), zero yards allowed in coverage, and seven stops — tackles that constitute a failure for the opposing offence, equivalent to the inverse of a success-rate play — which also led the NFL for the week. Two of his seven stops were sacks. Arif noted that the four leaderboard spots in individual off-ball linebacker pressures for the season were currently occupied by Cashman this week, Cashman a couple of weeks prior, Eric Wilson last week, and Eric Wilson a couple of weeks prior — meaning the Vikings' two starting linebackers held the top four individual off-ball pressure performances of the season.

Eric Wilson also had a strong game, knifing into the backfield and bottling up the Colts' run game. The Colts had entered with an above-average rushing attack by both success rate and EPA per play and finished with one of their worst performances by both metrics. The sole exception was one breakaway run — Jonathan Taylor's 38-yard gain — which Arif attributed specifically to the sub-package with Khyiris Tonga (listed in transcript as "Kayla Banks") on the field, accounting for 12–15 snaps and the defence's only significant vulnerability. Kayla Banks was not on the field for anything else of note. Tommy Adaba Warray, the young Northwestern defensive tackle Zach Hicks had mentioned in the Ep620 preview interview, was genuine; he was the Colts' most disruptive player by a margin.

Other standouts: Jalen Redmond at lights-out, Andrew Van Ginkel and Kyle Van Noy both effective, Isaiah Rogers solid, Dawkins turning in a strong performance despite Arif's prior scepticism about his position move to linebacker. Harrison Smith, Byron Murphy, and Josh Metellus were all acceptable to very good; the only critical notes were for Khyiris Tonga and Dominic Orange.

Daniel Jones had been in a three-way matchup nightmare: the Colts were among the league's worst against Cover 2, zone coverage generally, and blitzing, and the Vikings deploy all three at the highest rates in the NFL. On standard drop-backs against Cover 1 and man coverage the Colts were closer to average — meaning the scheme alignment was not coincidental. Jones was visibly panicking throughout. PFF counted three turnover-worthy plays; a fourth was narrowly avoided on one of Cashman's pass deflections. Harrison Smith's interception, the actual takeaway, came on a final-play blitz where the Vikings showed eight at the line, had all eight step forward, then peeled back two — Jones tried to throw to a receiver who simply was not open and Harrison Smith was there.

Spencer Schrader, the Colts' kicker who had entered as the leader in field goal points above expected, missed two field goals indoors in a dome. This was noted as surreal given his performance level all season, and moved Will Reichard to first in Arif's expected field goal points metric for the year.

Harrison Smith's 40th Interception

The interception was Smith's 40th career pick, making him a 40-20 player (40 interceptions, 20 sacks). After the play, he placed the ball on the 40-yard line before leaving the field — a gesture James described as simply cool. Arif noted a story was circulating about Smith getting drunk golfing with Ronde Barber, who had apparently been the person who convinced Smith he needed to go back and reclaim jersey number 40. Arif: "I need to read up on that. That's so good." Eric Thompson had tweeted that Smith only needed 41 more to catch up with the other number 22.

Aaron Jones Injury, Special Teams, and Jonathan Taylor Rumours

Aaron Jones went down briefly during the game and was listed as day-to-day, not expected to be a significant issue going forward. Jordan Mason stepped into the void without major incident.

On special teams, Arif cited the Vikings as leading the NFL in special teams DVOA by a considerable distance — first in kickoff field position on both kicking and receiving, good punt unit, and the Reichard situation at kicker — and noted the metric did not yet include this week's blocked Schrader field goal, which came from 59 yards and therefore wouldn't affect DVOA substantially even if added. Miles Price's presence in the return game produced a standing fan anticipation every time he touched the ball.

On Jonathan Taylor: earlier soft rumours had hardened into sourced reporting from Adam Schefter and Albert Breer; Taylor's wife had additionally posted about the trade speculation on Instagram and Taylor had acknowledged it in a press conference. Arif rated a seventh-round pick as ecstatic, a second-round pick as too much. He argued the running game would be more improved by Quentin Nelson than by Jonathan Taylor, and proposed moving Nelson to centre — a position he had never played — on the basis that Nelson's hand speed and apparent cognitive capacity for calling protections made him potentially better suited for the most demanding position on the line than for any guard spot. He walked through the Viking offensive line situation: Blake Brandel and Will Fries are both underperforming, Joe Huber at left guard has been solidly above backup level, and Nelson at centre with Huber at left guard would represent the largest possible upgrade per dollar of trade cost. A shadow of a rumour about Saquon Barkley had also surfaced; Barkley had just been injured again as of recording, which the hosts noted before moving on.

Mailbag

Kate (Scale of Clown Shoes to Modern Art Corner) — Arif rated the 2026 Vikings as "bowling shoes — but the nicer ones, the ones you bring, not the ones you rent." He noted that modern art is frequently characterised by the viewer asking "what are you trying to do here?" and that no description fit the team better.

Patrick (Norse Code Metaphysics Corner) — Patrick asked whether the defence's blitz strategy was actually brilliant, whether Flores was using dark arts to curse opposing offensive coordinators, and whether Harrison Smith was his high priest of chaos. Arif recommended the Thinking Football YouTube channel's video specifically breaking down how the coverage and the pass rush geometry marry together — explaining why the specific angles and positioning of the rushers dictate what is available in coverage — describing it as the clearest explanation he had encountered of why these elements are structurally linked rather than independently deployed. He argued the defence was anti-fragile and adaptive rather than merely aggressive, and noted that multiple legitimately good offensive minds (Matt LaFleur, Ben Johnson, and in theory Kellen Moore) had been unable to solve it. Arif also announced that Beehive had stopped cooperating with his show-notes posting workflow, which was why he had ceased cross-posting Norse Code to Daily Norseman and Wide Left Football.

Mad Max Brosmer (Vikings with Competent QB Play Corner) — Brosmer asked what the team would look like with eighth-best EPA per pass play. Arif calculated that moving from their current offensive EPA per play to that level would make the Vikings the best team in the league in net EPA per play — ahead of the 2025 49ers, who were putting up historically strong numbers despite enormous injury attrition. He placed the team in the discussion of all-time great defences at that point, comparable to the 1985 Bears, the 1991 Washington team, and the 2025 Seahawks, but not in the conversation for the single best — "probably not up there with '98 Vikings or 2007 Patriots, but man."

Optimism Castle Doctrine (Matt Nagy Corner) — The question asked what lessons KOC could learn from Matt Nagy to solve the underperforming quarterback play. Arif used the question to offer a detailed breakdown of JJ McCarthy's Giants debut, which he had rewatched and graded. McCarthy had a high EPA per play but a low success rate — a profile he mapped to 2021 Jameis Winston, 2024 Derek Carr, and most aptly 2023 Anthony Richardson: a lot of chunk plays, a lot of incomplete passes, not a real offence underneath. He identified four moments of genuinely quarterback-level competence — working inside the timing of the play, moving through progressions correctly — and two examples of good deep ball placement, one of which was a high-difficulty corner route where the decision was objectively wrong but the throw was precise enough to succeed. The overall read was better-than-with-the-Vikings but not sustainable. Arif's explanation for why McCarthy was doing better was a test-anxiety analogy: aiming for a 100 and getting 30 versus aiming for 90 and getting 90, the latter requiring accepting that occasionally a call will be wrong and moving forward rather than seeking the perfect play every down. He cited Jordan Rodriguez's Athletic piece on what happens in the headset — KOC spends significant time giving Murray every possible option to audible away from a passing play, with the result that Murray checked into runs all game because the box looked light, without asking whether the box looked light because the Colts knew passing was a bad idea. Luke's piece on getting rock-paper-scissored against the Buccaneers was cited as the template for the kind of thing an obsession with avoiding being wrong produces: now you're calling timeouts in the second quarter to get into the perfect play. James: "Talk to me in two weeks" about McCarthy's trajectory.

Raul (Jackson Dart Corner) — Raul asked how much the Vikings should give up for Jackson Dart. Arif noted that Dart plays a physical style that might not be sustainable into a second contract, treating him more like a running back in contract terms, and otherwise didn't answer the question seriously.

Raul (Winston Churchill / Michael Jordan / Abraham Lincoln / Jesus / Harry Potter Corner) — In reference to a John Harbaugh press conference praising Jameis Winston. Harbaugh compared Winston to Michael Jordan (got knocked down, got back up) — which Arif noted was odd given that Jordan was a McDonald's All-American five-star recruit whose only famous setback was being cut from the freshman team at age 14, a story in which the coach was probably correct to cut the five-foot-four freshman — and to Abraham Lincoln and Winston Churchill, the latter for his optimism. Arif observed that optimism is not actually a requirement for professional success and that several sports journalists he admires are deeply pessimistic. Harry Potter was apparently not in the actual press conference and had been added by the listener; Jesus was present by implication through a Christianity reference. Arif concluded that if Winston were to be compared to anyone sharing his name, it would be Winston Churchill the corner bit — adding that what distinguishes Winston Churchill from the other comparisons is that people do not discuss his crimes.

Kenneth Allen (Power Rankings Corner) — Allen noted that one way to assess a team's quality is to count how many teams they're confident can beat them, and observed that the Vikings had struggled against the Dolphins at the low end. Arif ran through his crude ten-metric statistical power ranking: the Vikings were eighth, with the caveat that his system underweights special teams and overweights offensive stability. He noted that ESPN had the Vikings first or second, that most legitimate power ranking systems would put them top three. His read: genuinely a top-ten team, probably not a six-and-zero team if the simulation ran a thousand times, but "good enough" — with the best kicker in the league and the best defence in the league, there is a floor.

Mark (11-Man Blitz Corner) — Mark asked what the most defenders sent at a QB in a single blitz was historically. Arif had researched the 1977 Atlanta Falcons' "Grease Blitz" defence while writing his piece on Flores's blitz rates. The Falcons blitzed at over 40% that year, high for the era. In the games Arif watched, there were plays where they blitzed eight or more every game. Against the Chicago Bears, they ran a nine-man blitz — nine rushers, two defenders in coverage — and the result was a pick six off a panicked throw into coverage that was not open. Arif noted this was the most he had ever seen in real footage. He wouldn't rule out Flores trying it against Jordan Love.

Kyle Segal (Horseshoe Theory Corner) — Segal posed an elaborate Matrix-architect framing around Daniel Jones, arguing that Jones was always destined to be screwed regardless of which team he ended up on, and asked how Jones should come to grips with the illusory nature of his agency. Arif agreed the comparison to the Matrix Architect scene was apt, noted that Neo broke out of the system and that Daniel Jones was not Neo, and offered a genuinely felt existentialist consolation: the fact that larger forces shape outcomes beyond our control doesn't prevent meaningful action within the sphere we actually occupy. He acknowledged he had not taken this advice himself.

Disile (I'm Never Wrong Corner) — Disile asked whether KOC was correct that the offence was close and whether six games was enough to judge it. Arif reviewed his earlier research on below-average offences and their likelihood of improvement: some recovery is statistically more likely than not, but the magnitude is typically small and rarely produces an above-average offence without a quarterback change. The Vikings were dead last in success rate, 28th or 29th in EPA per play, with a weird structural quirk of being higher in points per game than their drive-level metrics would predict — largely because of field position from special teams and the kicker converting more per opportunity. Arif projected the offence settling into the 20th-to-30th range, with the upcoming Lions and Bills games providing diagnostic information about the realistic ceiling since those defences were among the league's weakest. The 2000 Ravens and 2015 Broncos were cited as precedent for a championship-calibre defence carrying a bad offence. He closed: "Then you can feel some hope, which is the most dangerous thing you can do."

Jonathan (Imposter Syndrome Corner) — Jonathan asked how the defence would eventually get "found out" and how many losses were circled on the remaining schedule. Arif projected two wins and two losses in the next four games: lose to the Lions, beat the Bills, beat the Packers, lose to the 49ers. He noted that three of the next four opponents had top-three offences in the NFL. On how the defence would be beaten, Arif rejected the standard answers (screens, quick slants, heavy running) and argued it would require an offence willing to break its own existing framework for beating blitzes — because the Vikings have catalogued and pre-answered the standard frameworks. The model he offered was McVay's 2018 solution to Zimmer's defence: identifying the specific rotational pattern Zimmer's linebackers used and running a play that exploited the assumption, not a system-wide adjustment. James noted the psychologically unusual experience of watching the schedule and evaluating it entirely from a defensive standpoint — caring more about what the opposing offence will do against the Vikings defence than vice versa.

(Unnamed) (Turkey Corner) — The question asked whether turkeys wake up every November wondering if this is the year they're replaced by fried chicken or another meat. Arif strongly endorsed James's consideration of an Indian lamb curry for Thanksgiving ("lamb curry is so good, you usually have to slow cook it"), dismissed turkey as a trash meat, and argued that turkeys are resigned to their fate — citing the Philip K. Dick title Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? to conclude that turkeys do not dream of a better Thanksgiving. James noted he had recently nearly run over a group of turkeys crossing the road near the sugar beet plant on the way to work. Arif's response: "They shouldn't have made it to the other side, James."

Will (Blake Cashman Future Corner) — Will asked whether Blake Cashman was more likely to re-sign with his hometown Vikings or to follow Brian Flores to whatever team he coaches next. Arif: the second, without question. Getting paid the maximum for the best off-ball linebacker in the NFL is a more attractive proposition than a hometown discount; five years later, you can move back wherever you want.

Michael (Psycho Killer Corner) — Michael's question, spelled phonetically ("Kassah Kassah") to force James to say it that way, asked whether the recent rushing outputs against the Vikings were cause for concern. Arif said no. The Vikings are fourth in the NFL in rush EPA allowed and first in success rate. The Colts' one big run — Jonathan Taylor's 38-yarder — came specifically on a sub-package with a backup defensive tackle on the field for 12–15 snaps, and represented the defence's only real vulnerability that game. He criticised listeners on Threads who had suggested the Vikings needed a defensive tackle to stop the run, arguing the defensive tackle group (Jalen Redmond, Andrew Van Ginkel, Terry DeGroat Dawkins) was fine and that run attempts against the Vikings remained less efficient than pass attempts on average.

Bottoms Up Socrates (Fan Base Referee Conspiracies Corner) — Socrates asked how long before a fan base convinced itself its team was being victimised by referees would also start believing the refs were trained in the hollow earth by baby witches. Arif identified the fan base as Packers followers, drew an analogy to people perceiving loss of structural privilege as active discrimination, noted the current NFL season had the highest penalty rate in 20 years league-wide, and confirmed that both sides of the Packers–Lions game had been poorly officiated. On the baby witches: they are referenced in the 2020 Norse Code Christmas special (A Very Very Very Very Very Very Norse Code Christmas), are dangerous because they are undertrained in witchcraft, and per their own traditions, should not be listened to regarding the moon. The hollow earth explanation for the officiating was confirmed as the only logical one.

Aaron Rodgers AI Girlfriend Tangent — James brought up a New York Times profile of Marissa Mayer, the former Yahoo CEO, promoting her AI assistant app "Dazzle." The key anecdote in the profile: Mayer's daughter Marielle was turning ten and the teacher asked for three bullet points about what made her special; Mayer found the task overwhelming and asked Dazzle, which described the child as "empathetic, creative, and an animal lover." Mayer called it perfect. Arif's dissection: these descriptors apply to most children and require zero knowledge of the specific child; AI working backwards from common adjectives and finding confirmation is not proof of genuine personalised knowledge. The connection to Aaron Rodgers was that Rodgers had posted approvingly about AI technology and has been independently theorised, by people unrelated to Norse Code, to possibly have an AI partner. Arif: "He very much seems like the kind of person who would fall for an AI."

Nolan Kaler (Wagner Overture Corner) — Kaler asked which Wagner overture should accompany the intro at Mercedes-Benz Stadium given the Falcons' recent social media situation. The Falcons had tweeted their new helmet stripe — brown, black, and white — superimposed behind their angular falcon logo (already red, black, and white on a geometric design) and what appeared on screen looked uncomfortably close to Nazi iconography. Arif noted someone wearing the new Falcons hoodie to an unknowing venue had been told it looked offensive. Wagner was a racist whom Hitler admired; the overture to Rienzi was Hitler's declared favourite and is still performed live. Arif also flagged that Mercedes-Benz itself has a "complicated history" in the same era. The discussion extended to: the Minions canonically being in Antarctica during the 1930s (on the franchise's fandom wiki); Cars 2's connection to eugenics, which Arif described as the subject of a video essay by Jack St. Clare that makes a genuinely strong case.

Evan (Fantasy Team Names / Off the Rails Corner) — Evan suggested naming a fantasy team "Triumph of the Will" in honour of the special teams, with Will Reichard as the MVP. Arif's immediate objection: Will Reichard kicks three-point field goals, so the obvious name was "Three-Record," not a reference to a Riefenstahl film.

Arif's Midlife Crisis (Elections Matter Corner) — The question asked what the soil and water conservation district supervisor does and how to choose the best candidate. Arif recommended Naomi Kritzer's election blog (naomikritzer.com) for any local Twin Cities election question. On soil and water: they work on preserving waterways, preventing soil erosion, monitoring conditions, partnering with the parks board on interventions. The board has always had drama that nobody reports on, making it nearly impossible to assess candidates on policy grounds. The practical guide, per Naomi Kritzer and Arif: if one candidate has committed a crime, don't vote for them — unless it was a cool crime. A cool crime is being arrested for civil disobedience while protesting for social justice. An uncool crime is embezzlement, lying about being fired, collecting unemployment illegally, and suing the state when denied it. If both candidates are criminals, write in James. Arif: "I'm not going to become a member of a group that will have me."

Key Bits & Lore

The episode title "Cool Crimes" derives from Arif's voter guide advice in the Elections Corner: candidates for obscure local offices often lack websites and policy positions, so the deciding factor comes down to criminal history — and a distinction must be drawn between uncool crimes (embezzlement, fraud) and cool crimes (civil disobedience in service of social justice). Vote for the cool crime.
Arif vomited on the floor of an Olive Garden during a high school never-ending pasta contest, informed the host stand that "somebody threw up," cleaned himself up, returned to the table, and won by eating four more bowls. He could not eat pasta for approximately four years afterward.
Blake Cashman had one of the best individual off-ball linebacker games Arif has ever seen: four pass deflections, three quarterback hits, two sacks, seven stops (NFL-leading for the week), first in pass rush win rate and third in quick pressure rate. The top four individual off-ball linebacker pressure performances of the 2026 season all belong to Cashman or Eric Wilson.
Harrison Smith recorded his 40th career interception and placed the ball on the 40-yard line before leaving the field. He is a 40-20 player. Ronde Barber allegedly convinced Smith, over a drunk golf outing, to reclaim jersey number 40.
Spencer Schrader missed two field goals indoors in a dome — uncharacteristic for the player who had led the league in field goal points above expected all season — and this moved Will Reichard to first in Arif's expected field goal points metric for the year.
Arif's quarterback-ranking exercise placed Kyler Murray at approximately 21st in the NFL; the last quarterback on the list Arif would not prefer over Murray was Jacoby Brissett. Dak Prescott — whom Arif rated as deserving a top-seven ranking but who appeared 19th in NFL Communications' list — was described as a player who would make the Vikings "a juggernaut."
The Vikings are the only undefeated team in the NFL. The 1972 Dolphins and 2007 Patriots are on watch.
Marissa Mayer's AI assistant "Dazzle" described her daughter as "empathetic, creative, and an animal lover" for a school project; Arif's analysis was that these adjectives describe most children and require no personalised knowledge. Aaron Rodgers is independently theorised to have an AI partner by people unrelated to Norse Code.
The Atlanta Falcons tweeted their new helmet stripe (brown, black, and white) behind an angular red-and-black falcon logo; the result resembled Nazi iconography. Arif noted the Falcons' colour scheme and angular bird design already required care and that adding a brown stripe completed the problem.
Arif confirmed the upcoming Patreon bonus episode, a Blake Cashman breakdown piece from Matt Freeze at Wide Left Football, a college counting notebook, and a league-wide trends article.