Damian: Created page with "{{EpisodeInfobox | number = 612 | title = James and Carson’s Throuple (Not Emotionally Regulated Enough to Lose) | hosts = Arif Hasan, James Pogatshnik | guests = None | type = Regular Season }} '''Norse Code Episode 612: James and Carson’s Throuple (Not Emotionally Regulated Enough to Lose)''' was the week one recap episode, recorded at 11:43 PM immediately after the Vikings' opening win over the Packers. The episode covered the full fo..."

2026-09-17T14:28:26Z

Created page with "{{EpisodeInfobox | number = 612 | title = James and Carson’s Throuple (Not Emotionally Regulated Enough to Lose) | hosts = Arif Hasan, James Pogatshnik | guests = None | type = Regular Season }} '''Norse Code Episode 612: James and Carson’s Throuple (Not Emotionally Regulated Enough to Lose)''' was the week one recap episode, recorded at 11:43 PM immediately after the Vikings' opening win over the Packers. The episode covered the full fo..."

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{{EpisodeInfobox
| number = 612
| title = James and Carson’s Throuple (Not Emotionally Regulated Enough to Lose)
| hosts = Arif Hasan, James Pogatshnik
| guests = None
| type = Regular Season
}}

'''Norse Code Episode 612: James and Carson’s Throuple (Not Emotionally Regulated Enough to Lose)''' was the week one recap episode, recorded at 11:43 PM immediately after the Vikings' opening win over the Packers. The episode covered the full fourth-quarter collapse breakdown, Kyler Murray's injury and Javon Bullard's hit, Brian Flores's historic blitz rates, and a mailbag that included the Theranos Complex, the Oops All Punters first-week scores, the ranking of Justis's all-time worst moments, a comprehensive AI database failure review, and the Grand Forks bar guide. The episode title was originally "Not Emotionally Regulated Enough to Lose" but updated to "James and Carson’s Throuple" following a request from Wentz Messiah Complex in the Discord. Kyle Segall, in what may be his most significant contribution to the show's recorded history, finally joined Patreon for the final season.

== Overview ==
The hosts opened with the Australia game (49ers vs. Rams) and a Netflix stream that degraded progressively in resolution for Arif throughout the game, then pivoted to the Vikings' 29-point comeback win over the Packers. James had watched the first half from a bar in Castleton, North Dakota — notable stop for gas before Fargo on I-94 — at a friend's bachelor party, seated next to a man in what may have been a knockoff Carson Wentz jersey who was the least emotionally dysregulated person in the bar following the interception. The mailbag ran late into the night.

== Game Recap: Vikings vs. Packers, Week 1 ==

=== Kyler Murray and the Injury ===
Kyler Murray's start lasted approximately six plays. He threw an interception off his back foot — described by Arif as jumpy, indecisive, staying in the pocket too long — with a 28.6% success rate and 3.6 average yards per attempt across five dropbacks. Then, after a slide attempt, he took a first hit that was borderline under the protect-the-quarterback rules, followed by a second hit that Arif described as unambiguously reckless. Murray's helmet had come off from the first impact; the second hit landed on an unprotected quarterback and produced a fencing response visible on the broadcast.

Arif addressed the comparison to the Anthony Barr/Aaron Rodgers hit: the two situations are not comparable. Barr did not intend to injure Rodgers; Javon Bullard's hit was at minimum needlessly reckless even if intent cannot be established. Packers fans conflating the two were noted as doing so primarily because Vikings fans were involved in both incidents, not because the plays were similar.

The injury was not attributed to injury-proneness. Arif moved the concern meter "a tick" — not enough to draw conclusions, but enough to acknowledge the worst-case scenario looked like exactly what they saw.

=== Carson Wentz: Serviceable ===
Carson Wentz played the remainder of the game. He kept throwing the ball too far from his receivers but also too far from defenders, which Arif characterised as a low bar cleared adequately. He had a higher success rate than Murray's five-play sample. The Justin Jefferson free play — a direct result of an operational error that somehow resolved into everyone being on the same page — was cited as a flash of what a functional Vikings offence can produce. His two-point conversion attempt was one of his better throws of the day, which does not count in statistics. He was in visible pain multiple times.

The pre-snap chaos was discussed as a persistent issue across multiple quarterbacks and centres — Arif's conclusion: the Vikings need their actual centre to play centre, a requirement that has apparently not yet been fully implemented.

=== Brian Flores and the Blitz Rate ===
The Vikings blitzed at 87% (PFF) or 73.9% (Sumer Sports) — the highest blitz rate seen in approximately three years, going back to Week 18 of 2024 (Vikings vs. Lions). The three highest blitz rates since that point are all Brian Flores games. For context: the 95th percentile single-game blitz rate for a non-Flores team is approximately 50%. Flores blitzed at that rate and then half again.

Jordan Love's success rate was below 30% through most of the first half — below the lowest full-season success rate in the league the prior year (Cleveland Browns, 41.6%). By the end of the game it had crept to just over 40%, at which point it no longer mattered. His failures included sacks, interceptions, and fumbles — outcomes where a low success rate compounds severely.

Arif concluded the blitz was working even during the periods when it looked bad, because the big-play outcomes were outliers within a pattern of consistent failure. He compared monitoring this to slot machine variance: the memorable moments were the successes, but the base rate of failure was the informative signal. Halftime adjustments appeared to include more defensive line stunts, enabling cleaner one-on-one matchups for Blake Cashman's blitzes and contributing to a fourth-quarter Dallas Turner sack-fumble series.

=== The Fourth Quarter ===
The Vikings were down 12 with under 20 minutes to play. According to Opta Sports, they became the first team in NFL history to be trailing by 12 points with under 20 minutes remaining and win by 17 or more.

Key sequence of events in the comeback:

* Dallas Turner forced a fumble on a sack; Zach Bacobo-Welle recovered and carried it seven yards
* Andrew Van Ginkel sacked Love again on the very next play, forced another fumble, recovered it himself, and nearly returned it for a touchdown before being stopped at the one by Bacobo-Welle — a man who had just earned his carry
* Jordan Mason scored from one yard out — a '''Big Citrus''' goal-line run, notable for being exactly the kind of uncomplicated red-zone play Vikings fans had been requesting
* Harrison Smith tipped a Jordan Love pass intended for a receiver; unaware the tip had been caught, he was frustrated until Josh Metellus informed him James Pierre had intercepted it
* Justin Jefferson scored his second touchdown of the game, matching his total from the entire 2025 season, by stretching the ball across the goal line on a play that did not require the stretch but was funnier with it
* '''Trey Smack''' missed an extra point and then kicked a 59-yard field goal
* The Vikings lined up offside on the field goal, giving the Packers fourth and one
* Jordan Love attempted a quarterback sneak into a gap occupied by a 340-pound defensive tackle ('''Big Citrus'''), having just taken points off the board. He did not convert. The Packers never scored again
* Carson Wentz ran into his own lineman (McLellan, tripped by Carson Wentz, bracing so as not to fall on Carson Wentz), received a roughing the passer call, and the Vikings took a first down under the body-weight rule — '''the very rule the Packers had lobbied the league to implement'''

Aaron Jones scored his first career touchdown against the Packers. Christian Watson had 147 yards including an 81-yard touchdown early in the game, which Arif was required to acknowledge given his stated scepticism. Packers running back situation remained disorganised without Josh Jacobs, who had pled no contest to misdemeanor battery and criminal damage earlier in the week.

The Vikings-linear-Super-Bowl trophy, which had been at risk of ceasing to exist on a Packers win, is confirmed back in Vikings hands. Tracked by '''Alex Schulte''', who has been maintaining the tradition since its invention on the fly using rules neither host fully understands.

=== The Five Funniest Fourth-Quarter Moments ===
Ranked by Arif and James, ascending:

'''5.''' Justin Jefferson's unnecessary-but-correct touchdown stretch — funny for no clear articulable reason

'''4.''' Andrew Van Ginkel's scoop and almost-score, stopped at the one by Zach Bacobo-Welle

'''3.''' Harrison Smith believing he had dropped a pick, being noticeably upset, and needing to be told by Josh Metellus that James Pierre caught the tip

'''2.''' The broadcast graphic reading "SIX INCHES TOO SHORT" — Arif noted some viewers would feel personally attacked

'''1.''' A Packers defender taking the body-weight rule — the rule the Packers lobbied the league to create — and using it to give the Vikings a free first down on a drive that produced the go-ahead score. The defender braced to avoid putting body weight on Carson Wentz. Carson Wentz had run into him.

== Mailbag ==

* '''Harmonica''' — Is the Vikings win a record for fewest passing yards with five or more offensive touchdowns? Arif ran the query on Stathead (games since 1935 with at least 5 TDs and 135 or fewer passing yards). Three pre-merger games had lower passing yard totals. Post-2000, there are 18 such games, including the Detroit Lions' 52-14 win over the Titans in 2024 (61 passing yards). The Vikings' performance ranks 121st all-time since 1935 — approximately one game of this character per year. Last year's entry was also against the Packers, by the Ravens.

* '''LeVar Bolsharif''' — Can the Packers recover from this many blown leads in the LaFleur era? Arif ran percentage of losses attributable to blown fourth-quarter leads since 2020. The Packers rank third (updated to include this game), behind the LA Rams and Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and ahead of the Buffalo Bills and Detroit Lions. Minnesota is average — capable of losing any number of ways, which is described as "one of the perks."

* '''Raul''' — Is there a statistic backing up the intuition that a dropped interception on the previous drive means a touchdown is coming? Arif asked all four available AI database tools. '''Sumer Brain''' acknowledged it couldn't track dropped picks and proxied with pass-defended plays — the second most likely outcome on those drives was another interception, confirming the "ball don't lie" theory statistically. '''NFL Pro's fantasy AI''' said it couldn't answer non-fantasy questions, offering start/sit advice instead. '''Iverson''' (FTN's AI) lost the query, then reported the question was "out of scope" because it was "not yet wired to live data." '''PFF Guru''': asked for Trey Pipkins, Kingsley Anikbari, Christian Wilkins, and two people named Kingsley. Sumer Brain was declared the winner by default, which both hosts found troubling.

* '''Raul''' — Which quarterback gets to four starts first? Arif: probably Carson Wentz. Dark horse: Jameis Winston, who was filmed applying a full gallon of cologne in the background of a Cam Akers interview in a manner that suggested he had taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque and was operating on a different physics than the rest of the NFL.

* '''Ricardo''' — Ranking Justis Mosqueda's all-time worst moments: (1) "Gavel Banger" — forgetting the word judge during the Packers preview, landing on "gavel banger" instead; (2) Bong rips; (3) Waking up four hours late for a recording he was supposed to join immediately after writing his injury report, having decided to take a nap with no notice.

* '''Kenneth Allen''' — What long-running bits should get closure before the finale? Arif: the baby witches — the precursor segment, pre-all-the-other-witch-stuff, that Arif was genuinely enthusiastic about and James was like "I guess we're doing this." James: retiring to open a beekeeping farm, or deciding to do sumo instead. Also from Kenneth Allen: where does Sunday's game rank among all-time drunk games? The Packers game last year, the Lions game two years ago, the Colts game, both Bills games — the field is competitive. This one is up there.

* '''Kyle Segall''' — Is the Vikings win a cruel trick, a ploy to ensnare fans in false reality like shadows on Plato's cave wall? Arif: yes, every time, that is correct, that is how this works. James speculated Kyle had tripped, hit his head, and briefly perceived the universe.

* '''Jack Rackham''' — Is Carson Wentz better than Drake Maye? No. Also: Wentz arrived to practice in a vehicle with expired Indiana license plates. Arif and James debated whether to report this to police, settling on waiting until after the season. The theory that Wentz breaks into a different beat-up car each morning with a slim jim was not dismissed.

* '''Yannick''' — Where does Carson Wentz rank among Arif's enemies after winning the Vikings' Super Bowl? Arif: Aaron Rodgers remains number one permanently. Carson Wentz is up there. Also in the top tier: Michael Kist, Justis Mosqueda, Ben Solak, several Eagles-adjacent figures. DrawPlayDave is described as a trickster deuteragonist — more Mr. Freeze than Joker.

* '''Bottoms Up Socrates''' — How did Justis's Packers preview predictions hold up? He was correct that: (1) the run game would go back to outside zone basics, (2) Christian Watson would be useful. He was incorrect about: (1) the score (50,000–3 Packers). He also declared Luke Getsy a sleeper cell, which remains unresolved.

* '''Jack''' — Why is pre-snap chaos unique to Vikings among McVay-disciple teams? Arif: it wasn't a notable problem under Kirk Cousins with Garrett Bradbury. It has emerged across multiple quarterbacks and centres since. Conclusion: your centre needs to play centre.

* '''Wince Messiah Complex''' — Is Carson Wentz a T-Rex quarterback? Arif: it's a slot machine. Most outcomes are bad. The good outcomes are good enough to keep pulling the lever until the lever breaks off.

* '''Alex''' — Does kickoff coverage still have problems? Can Myles Price's return game compensate? Arif: yes, and probably not. The Myles Price return is likely not a persistent indicator.

* '''Chandler''' — Five funniest fourth-quarter moments. Covered in game recap above.

* '''Minneapolis Cinnamon Cheerios''' — Can the Bears tire themselves out after a huge week-one score before facing the Vikings? Arif referenced the 2023 Broncos-Dolphins 70-point game, after which neither team sustained it. The Bears have publicly stated they want to break the NFL scoring record this year. Arif: teams that win big emotional games sometimes follow up badly, particularly the Vikings. The Bears being too happy is, in his experience, a bad sign.

* '''Room Temperature''' — Which QB sneak was worse: Love this week or Cousins against the Bills in 2022? Arif: Cousins. Also from Room Temperature: what is the more impressive week-one feat — Justin Jefferson matching his 2025 touchdown total in one game, or the Jets matching their 2025 interception total in one game? Arif: Jefferson, but the Jets one is hilarious. Also from Room Temperature: being a lifelong Vikings fan gives you an attraction to partners with crazy eyes — what should this complex be called? Arif and James: '''The Theranos Complex'''. It sounds like a deadly disease. It is advertised six times during Monday Night Football. It is actually a cure for moderate to severe psoriasis. It is possibly something else. They will workshop it.

* '''Damian Bolsharif''' — Who is the bigger draft bust: JJ McCarthy at 10 or Brandon Aubrey in the Hell Leagues? James provided the Oops All Punters week-one update: Arif beat James 746–467. The highest score in the league was Kevin's 802. A close game occurred elsewhere at 385–382. The boards are beautiful. The league is perfect. Also: JJ McCarthy was inactive on Sunday, listed as emergency third-string quarterback. Start9.win has not updated to reflect this information.

* '''Arif's Midlife Crisis''' — Egg on face corner: Arif spent the offseason arguing Kyler was not injury-prone and that Start9's projections were wrong. Kyler was injured almost immediately. Arif: getting hit in the head without a helmet on is not an injury-proneness data point. Also: Start9.win assumed JJ McCarthy, if he lost the starting job, would have the backup job. He does not have the backup job.

* '''Andy''' — Minneapolis restaurant and bar recommendations: Matt's Bar (Juicy Lucy, mandatory, wait for it to cool down), Blue Door Pub (varied Juicy Lucy styles), Al's Breakfast in Dinkytown (cash, patience required), Tom's Watch Bar (all-day viewing), Poorhouse (great for watching all the games), Spoon and Stable (verify still open), 112 Eatery (downtown, small space, excellent food, reservations needed), Mayslacks. For the game itself: the Vikings Museum in Eagan was endorsed by James following a visit with his son.

* '''Francis Ford Copium''' — Grand Forks recommendations after ten years away: the Hub Pub (formerly the Hub, turned around, the water no longer causes illness, passes the dive test), Rhombus Guys, Up North in East Grand, Rumors for beer towers. University Avenue has expanded significantly. The new Memorial Union is impressive — James is a little jealous. A Hugo's grocery has opened in downtown, which is described as unsettling but functional. The open-air drug market behind Sled'sters has closed, for those who were planning around it.

* '''The Logic Dump''' — Son called the Packers "the Alpacas" during the game recap. Which other team deserves a rename? Arif: all 31 of them, universally. Denver Broncos → '''Boncos'''. James: his son thought the Vikings were called "the Teddies" after a Teddy Bridgewater shirt featuring a bear throwing a ball. James closed the episode: "go boncos."

== Key Bits & Lore ==
* '''Big Citrus''' — the Vikings defensive lineman Jordan Love chose to run a quarterback sneak directly into on fourth and one, having just taken three points off the board. He did not convert. The Packers never scored again
* '''The Theranos Complex''' — a newly named psychological condition: an attraction to partners with crazy eyes, caused by prolonged exposure to Minnesota Vikings football
* Kyle Segall joined Patreon for the final season. James thanked him for finding a lifeboat and boarding the Titanic as it went down
* The '''Vikings-linear-Super-Bowl Trophy''' is confirmed alive and back in Viking hands, tracked by Alex Schulte
* The Packers lobbied the NFL to implement the body weight rule. The body weight rule gave the Vikings a first down on the go-ahead drive
* Arif's Oops All Punters team beat James 746–467 in week one. Kevin had the highest score in the league: 802
* Carson Wentz has expired Indiana license plates on his vehicle. This has been noted for the record
* Arif compared Brian Flores to a card counter in his Wide Left game review piece
* James was in Castleton, North Dakota, at a bachelor party, next to a man in a probable knockoff Wentz jersey, who did not react when the interception happened because he already knew

[[Category:Episodes]]
[[Category:Season 2026]]

Episode 612 - Revision history