Editing Episode 610

{{EpisodeInfobox
| number      = 610
| title       = I Yearn
| hosts       = Arif Hasan, James Pogatshnik
| guests      = None
| type        = Regular Season
}}

'''Norse Code Episode 610: I Yearn''' was the first episode of the show's final regular season, covering the Kyle Van Noy signing, the official 53-man roster, a division-wide preview of the Bears and Lions, and a mailbag that included a full breakdown of competitive Pokémon, the Clippers salary cap scandal, Frutiger Aero, and the Dejan Love romance scam. The episode opened with Arif announcing his new podcast, '''All Ball''', with Drew McGarry at The Defector.

== Overview ==
The cold open was dominated by the announcement that Arif would be co-hosting a new football podcast with Drew McGarry to replace The Distraction on The Defector's feed. The main episode covered the Kyle Van Noy practice squad signing, a detailed 53-man roster walkthrough, and a division preview of the Bears and Lions heading into week one. The mailbag ranged from cap math on Harrison Smith's potential return, to Bill Simmons's proxy betting scandal, to a detailed breakdown of Wolfe Glick's disappointing Pokémon World Championships run. The episode title emerged mid-show when Arif described his negotiating style with James as ending in "James, I'm yearning" — at which point both hosts confirmed it was the episode title.

== Segments ==

=== Cold Open: All Ball Announced ===
Arif announced that Drew McGarry (formerly of Deadspin and The Defector) is ending '''The Distraction''' and has invited Arif to co-host a new podcast called '''All Ball''' in its place. The show will be football-only — matchups, players, techniques — with no gambling lines or fantasy content. The first episode records the following week. A voiced intro has already been recorded. The show will run weekly during the season and figure out the offseason format as it goes.

James noted Awful Announcing has an existing Arif Hasan tag, sitting below Pablo Torre and above Stephen A. Smith, which Arif found disconcerting. The Deadspin collapse was briefly relitigated — the comment section of the Awful Announcing piece blamed Deadspin for its own death, a position both hosts dismissed given the documented involvement of Peter Thiel and the Hulk Hogan lawsuit.

Justis Mosqueda was announced as the guest for the following episode. James DMed him immediately without censoring himself. Arif noted Mosqueda had previously missed a recording by four hours after deciding to nap following the Thursday injury report, woke up hours later, and hopped on as if nothing had happened.

=== Kyle Van Noy Signing ===
Van Noy signed to the practice squad — not the active roster — making the signing less dramatic than it appeared. He can be promoted up to four times before requiring a full roster spot, and Arif expected him to be a regular game-day elevation.

Van Noy's history with Brian Flores is extensive: Miami Dolphins 2020, and prior to that New England, where the question of who was actually running the defence between Bill and Steve Belichick was always murky. Steve Belichick was briefly noted as having resigned from North Carolina amid a recruiting staff scandal that Arif described as significantly worse than what was publicly known.

Van Noy's 2020 Dolphins usage was highly versatile — 246 pass-rush snaps, 254 coverage snaps, 31 pressures, five sacks — exactly the Flores defence mould. His 2024 pressure total (27) was down from his peak years (52 in 2022, 48 in 2023), suggesting some decline, but the fit within the system's required versatility is more relevant than raw output. The signing was also a direct response to Tyler Batty's season-ending injury. Arif assessed him as a partial Jamal Adams replacement in usage terms, with some of Adams' snaps going to Van Noy, some to Jaye Ngata, some to Jay Ward, and some to Josh Metellus.

=== The 53-Man Roster ===
Arif's full assessment of the final roster:

'''Quarterbacks''': The team briefly carried four before settling on three — Kyler Murray, Carson Wentz, and JJ McCarthy. Max Brosmer on the practice squad. Arif's read was that the Vikings were still seeking a trade partner for McCarthy, kept Brosmer on the roster temporarily to ensure three QBs remained during any trade window, and ultimately kept McCarthy because he offered more upside than Brosmer and someone would likely take a flyer on a former first-round pick.

'''Tight ends''': Both Gavin Bartholomew and Ben Yurosek made the team, which was a minor surprise — four tight ends kept. Bryson Nesbit also on the roster.

'''Offensive line''': Walter Rouse was traded away, which Arif noted was the rare Vikings trade where reporters covering the receiving team reached out to confirm the player was actually good. Trevor Keegan and Nick Samac were added via waivers — both capable of snapping the ball, which was apparently the priority. Caleb Tiernan kept despite poor preseason performance (third-round pick protections). Ryan Vandermark assessed as deserving a roster spot.

'''Running backs''': Deone Claiborne made it; Xavier Gipson did not and was claimed by the Chicago Bears. Arif assessed Claiborne as the correct call despite Gipson being the better runner, given Gipson's catastrophic pass-protection issues.

'''Wide receivers''': No surprises. Myles Price and Ty Felton locked in. Dylan Bell briefly made the 53 before being waived to accommodate the offensive linemen added via waivers.

'''Defensive tackles''': Six kept, including Elijah Williams, who Arif had been uncertain about given competition. Ceriah Doakins confirmed as a defensive tackle. Caleb Banks on the team but the subject of a Wide Left piece titled "Easy Time to Panic About Caleb Banks." Jalen Redmond, Levi Drake Rodriguez, and Doakins likely the starting three.

'''Edge''': Chas Chambliss kept — described as someone the coaching staff was clearly never going to cut. Bo Richter kept after Tyler Batty's season-ending injury. Kyle Van Noy on the practice squad as edge three.

'''Cornerbacks''': Five kept. Nazir Stackhouse as the fifth corner; Devon Armstead did not make it. Chuck Dennis fighting for CB3 as anticipated.

'''Safeties''': Jay Ward's versatility noted again. Jacoby Thomas confirmed as third-round pick, expected to contribute.

=== Around the Division ===

'''Chicago Bears'''
Drew Dalman retired abruptly, forcing the Bears to sign Garrett Bradbury — leading Arif to observe that Bradbury might now be, improbably, the best centre in the NFC North. DJ Moore traded to the Buffalo Bills. The Bears' secondary is a disaster zone: no Daunte Manning, no Kobe Bryant (just signed, now injured), Kyler Gordon out. Tyrique Stevenson starting at corner — the player who trash-talked during a Hail Mary that directly preceded a legendary Bears collapse. Ahmed Hassanein, their third-string edge rusher, briefly profiled as a former internationally competitive CrossFit athlete who may be eligible for an O-1 extraordinary-ability visa, and who brings a level of practice-field energy both hosts admired.

'''Detroit Lions'''
Both Kerby Joseph and Brian Branch began the year on PUP at safety, leaving Chuck Clark and Avonte Maddox as the starters — thin by Lions standards. Derrick Moore, their second-round edge rusher, drew scepticism from Arif (PFF preseason grade of 70.9, two pressures in 25 snaps). Kade Mays injured at centre; Juice Scruggs (acquired from Houston) starting in his place. Penei Sewell moved from right to left tackle. Tate Ratledge flagged as a year-two breakout candidate. Jameson Williams has posted two 1,000-yard seasons that Arif noted were better than his reputation suggested — but not as good as his statistics suggested. Jordan Addison has yet to post a single 1,000-yard season. Isaac TeSlaa assessed as a bad third receiver. Jahmyr Gibbs identified as the highest-paid running back in the league. Jack Fox lauded as an outstanding punter.

===  Punter Update ===
Brett Thorson won the punter battle over Johnny Hekker. Critically: he can hold. James observed this with a tone suggesting mild existential unease.

== Mailbag ==

* '''Nick Howard''' — Why is Max Brosmer back, even as a practice-squad quarterback? Arif: it is difficult to identify more than 100 people currently willing and able to play quarterback better than Brosmer. That number does not include retired legends. Those who might beat him at rank 60–140 don't know the offense. Nick Mullens would have been preferable on the practice squad, but the decision is not unreasonable.

* '''Will Melvin''' — If Harrison Smith were to return, what date would make the most sense? Arif: any time after week one. Veterans signed after the first game carry a lower cap hit relative to guaranteed money — the team commits less while paying the veteran minimum. Smith's role also differs significantly from Jamal Adams', making him a genuine fit question rather than a direct replacement.

* '''Free9''' — CJ Stroud turned down $50 million per year seeking $60 million. What will JJ McCarthy demand when his contract expires? Arif: the $50 million figure is not as remarkable as it sounds — the salary cap has nearly doubled since Kirk Cousins signed his $30 million fully-guaranteed contract in 2018 ($177M cap then vs $300M now). Cousins would command over $60M today. Stroud wanting $50M+ as a solid top-half quarterback is reasonable. McCarthy will not be signing a second contract with the Vikings, so the comparison is moot.

* '''A Second Jet Has Hit Drew Bledsoe''' — For Hamez's Hell League corner: Yahoo is advertising Cameo appearances for fantasy draft order picks. What is the most inappropriate celebrity to hire for this? James and Arif landed on Reggie Watts — available for $123 — given the Rolling Stone allegations, which Arif described as "catastrophically bad" and "bone-chilling" behind a promotional tweet Rolling Stone framed as merely him being a bad boyfriend. Jonathan Frakes from Ripley's Believe It or Not was proposed as a wholesome alternative.

* '''Skimbleshanks''' — Where does this year rank in weirdness of vibes heading into the season? The hosts reviewed the full show history: 2013 (weird, early Peterson uncertainties), 2014 (least weird — new coach, adorable quarterback, medical flag was that his heart was too big), 2016 (Teddy Bridgewater's injury), 2018 (Kirk Cousins stink), 2020–2021 (COVID, least-vaccinated team in the league, the popemobile proposal), 2022 (cautious optimism for KOC). Assessment: 2026 is a low-weirdness-vibe year by historical standards. The J.J. McCarthy situation does not reach the level of a quarterback's knee exploding or the impending doom of Mike Zimmer.

* '''Skimbleshanks''' — Browns/Deshaun Watson versus Clippers/Kawhi Leonard — which is the worse trade-plus-contract situation? Context: the NBA imposed five first-round pick forfeitures, a $30 million fine to owner Steve Ballmer, a $700,000 fine to Kawhi Leonard, a one-year ban on Ballmer from his own arena, and suspensions for the GM and VP. Arif: Deshaun Watson. The Clippers' situation is damaging but not terminal — they can still be competitive eventually, and Kawhi Leonard seems cool. The Browns cannot escape Watson, cannot get rid of him due to the contract structure, and Jimmy Haslam is in a different category of detestable. ESPN's handling was also criticised: a Dan Van Natta/Ramona Shelburne piece two weeks earlier had said no sanctions were coming; Shelburne had conducted a sit-down interview with Steve Ballmer and never pressed him on the investigation. Pablo Torre, who had reported the story correctly and received significant public abuse for it, was vindicated.

* '''Damian Bolsharif''' — For Dusty's gambling corner: which host is most likely to be caught placing proxy bets? Answer established: Arif. Follow-up: which inappropriate acquaintance would he use to place them, and why is the answer James's ex-wife? Arif confirmed the answer was actually one of his own exes, and described his decision-making process as: James lists every reason it is a catastrophically bad idea, Arif says "yeah, James, you're right, James, I get it, James, I'm yearning." Both hosts confirmed "I'm yearning" as the episode title. James proposed "Who Hurt You" as an alternative. Bill Simmons's proxy betting situation — which involved encouraging his daughter's boyfriend to place bets on his behalf, multiple laws violated, all bets cancelled, a FanDuel relationship under review, and no apology to Pablo Torre — was covered as context.

* '''Kenneth Allen''' — Will All Ball be better with a good or bad Viking season? Arif: the dynamic differs from Norse Code — Arif converts Viking misery into comedy as a defence mechanism; Drew McGarry actually feels the pain and gets annoyed at that approach. The podcast will probably be more entertaining with a bad season, but a good season might get Arif sent to a playoff game at The Defector's expense, which he stated publicly and without consulting anyone at The Defector.

* '''Arif's Midlife Crisis''' — For the All Ball corner: the trailer sounds like the Dragon Ball Z intro guy. Is this a podcast about Dragon Ball Z? James refused to confirm or deny watching anime. Arif did not extend him that courtesy, describing James as having "lied to the audience about this for years" and declining to provide cover. James suggested asking Roger Ebert's ChatGPT for a summary of the Frieza arc.

* '''Village YAC Monger''' — What is the ideal aesthetic for digital media — Frutiger Aero or Global Village Coffeehouse? James described Frutiger Aero as the Windows Vista glass aesthetic — rounded, shiny, semi-translucent — still solid design principles, just dated. Global Village Coffeehouse was described as late-90s warm browns and oranges, cluttered clip-art energy, the visual language of Microsoft Encarta, the label on a CD-ROM. Arif: Frutiger Aero is actually good design and merely dated; Global Village Coffeehouse is not objectively good design but triggered a profound nostalgia wave, partly because Arif grew up in Grand Forks, North Dakota, which runs a few years behind the rest of the country aesthetically. He discovered an active subreddit for this during recording and had a moment. Both agreed examples would be in the show notes. Amazon Trail 2 was cited as the spiritual home of the Global Village Coffeehouse aesthetic.

* '''LeVar''' — For the Lenin-Bron corner: what quote would make you quit your job as a newspaper editor and lead a Georgian socialist revolution? Arif: Karl Marx is, surprisingly, an outstanding writer in his letters and the Manifesto — not in Capital, which is academic — and has genuinely sick burns. He had not looked up a specific quote pre-show. James's actual answer: something in Eve 6's "Here's to the Night." Arif noted Max Collins has since disowned those lyrics, calling this devastating.

* '''Kyle Segall''' — How weird is it to do a podcast you know is ending — is it like going back to work after the doctor tells you you've only got a few months to live? Arif answered via the story of a woman he briefly dated who had been misdiagnosed with a terminal illness for a year. He learned about it from his roommate, processed this by sending her a Facebook Messenger message that said "hey, so you're dying?" She confirmed she was not dying. She had been told she was fine weeks earlier. Arif asked if she was suing. She said she was alive. He said he understood. The relationship did not last. Arif's current assessment: doing the podcast does not feel like putting gas in a car he has already wrecked. The Drew McGarry announcement made him genuinely excited.

* '''Room Temperature''' — In your younger days, how many women could you have scammed into thinking you were a pro athlete? James: before college he was unreasonably fit for his activity level, had a six-pack for unclear reasons, could run faster and lift more than expected, but high school debate consumed the years when this might have mattered. Would have passed as a UND walk-on at best. Arif: as someone who has been 6'4"–6'5" for most of his life and is extremely online, probably could have done what Dejan Love did — a romance scammer who distributed turkey giveaways on Instagram with no location or time listed, scammed at least 26 women out of a combined $1.3 million, and earned grudging respect for the depth of his commitment to the bit. Arif appeared on an episode of Kill the Computer with James (the podcast host, not James Pogatshnik) covering the story in detail.

* '''Deez''' — For the VGC corner: break down Wolfe Glick's most recent tournament team and why it came up short, using language only two percent of listeners will understand. Arif confirmed this is about competitive Pokémon, specifically the official doubles format (VGC). He described Wolfe Glick as by most measures the greatest player in the history of the format and by far its most popular content creator. Arif noted he had reached the top 8,000 on the ranked ladder two weeks prior, which he considers a personal landmark. Glick's tournament team: Mega Staraptor, Tyranitar, Excadrill, Gholdengo, Fuecoco, Whimsicott. An off-meta sand team bringing both Tailwind and Trick Room — exceptionally difficult to pilot. The team was strong into the dominant "Big Six" meta (Charizard, Florges, Basculegion, Kingambit, Whimsicott, Garchomp) but had significant elemental weaknesses and required near-perfect execution. Glick went 5-3 with the second-most difficult schedule of anyone finishing 5-3, placing 59th. Arif expects a postmortem video in a couple of months and noted Glick has, without exaggeration, reframed his relationship to competition more than any other competitor he has encountered.

== Key Bits & Lore ==
* '''All Ball''' is announced — Arif's new weekly football podcast with Drew McGarry at The Defector, replacing The Distraction
* Arif is writing a book. It has not been written yet. It will be published in approximately two years. Everything will go sideways
* Brett Thorson won the punter battle. He can hold
* [[Xavier Gipson]] was claimed by the Chicago Bears off waivers
* Walter Rouse was traded; reporters covering the receiving team reached out to confirm he was good, which Arif described as a recurring and slightly surreal pattern in his career
* Bill Simmons's proxy betting situation covered in detail — FanDuel relationship under review, no apology to Pablo Torre
* The Clippers lost five first-round picks and $30 million; Steve Ballmer is banned from his own arena for a calendar year
* Arif reached the top 8,000 on the Pokémon Champions ranked ladder two weeks prior to recording. He is no longer there. The moment was great
* Eve 6's "Here's to the Night" remains the correct answer to most questions involving personal motivation and socialist revolution
* Global Village Coffeehouse has a subreddit. Arif discovered this live on air and had to take a moment
* The episode title "I'm Yearning" was confirmed mid-mailbag; "Who Hurt You" was proposed as an alternative and rejected

[[Category:Episodes]]
[[Category:Season 2026]]