NorseCode Wiki - Recent changes [en]

Episode 615

Damian — Fri, 25 Sep 2026 16:58:10 GMT

Created page with "{{EpisodeInfobox | number = 615 | title = The Least Offensive Thing | hosts = Arif Hasan, James Pogatshnik | guests = Jon Ledyard (Audibles & Analytics) | type = Regular Season }} '''Norse Code Episode 615: The Least Offensive Thing''' was a game preview episode ahead of the Vikings' Week 3 matchup against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0–2), featuring returning guest Jon Ledyard of Audibles & Analytics. The episode covered Baker Mayfield's fun..."

New page

{{EpisodeInfobox
| number = 615
| title = The Least Offensive Thing
| hosts = Arif Hasan, James Pogatshnik
| guests = Jon Ledyard (Audibles & Analytics)
| type = Regular Season
}}

'''Norse Code Episode 615: The Least Offensive Thing''' was a game preview episode ahead of the Vikings' Week 3 matchup against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0–2), featuring returning guest Jon Ledyard of Audibles & Analytics. The episode covered Baker Mayfield's fundamental volatility, the Buccaneers' inexplicable 11-personnel obsession, Alex Anzalone's case for worst defender in the league, Antoine Winfield Jr.'s suffering, and a mailbag that included the least offensive fineable celebration, James's wedding prop bets, Arif's fantasy roster of worst takes, and Young Nasty University going on the record. The episode title derives from Room Temperature's question about the least offensive gesture a player could still be fined for — a reference to Jamar Chase's tricep/elbow celebration.

== Overview ==
The cold open covered the Packers' ongoing collapse: Jordan Love threw multiple interceptions, including a late attempt he succeeded in converting into a pick. James and Arif observed that a Falcons field goal block featured only ten Atlanta players on the field, which raised questions about Green Bay's offensive line competency. Arif drew a comparison to the late Rodgers era, noting that Packers fans — sustained by decades of quarterback continuity — are uniquely unequipped to process losing. He found it surprising that Patriots fans, who have endured more recent dysfunction, have actually handled their decline with greater composure.

The Buccaneers preview ran for the bulk of the episode, with Jon Ledyard providing film-based analysis across every unit. The mailbag then pivoted to wedding content, Arif's historical bad takes, and the question of what you can do on a football field that is technically against the rules but barely.

== Buccaneers Preview with Jon Ledyard ==

=== Baker Mayfield and the Buccaneers Offense ===
Ledyard rejected the narrative that Baker's struggles stem from complacency after securing his contract. His argument: Baker has always been this quarterback — volatile, chaos-addicted, arm-talented but structurally resistant to clean pocket operation. Arif noted that Baker's tendency to throw off-platform is systematically misread as arm weakness when it is actually evidence of arm strength; the problem is that he seeks out those throws rather than avoiding the conditions that produce them.

The deeper diagnostic, per Ledyard: Baker wants to be a running back. The moment pressure arrives, his instinct is to abandon structure entirely and improvise. This has produced highlights throughout his career, but it also means the floor is unpredictably low. The Buccaneers have run 11 personnel on over 84% of snaps through two games, despite posting a respectable rush success rate (seventh in the league) and a poor pass success rate. The playcalling logic has not yet made itself apparent to outside observers, including Ledyard.

=== Buccaneers Wide Receivers ===
Miká Buka's route-running impressed Ledyard on tape; he is getting open and Baker is not finding him. Jalen McMillan emerged as a genuine playmaker in the second half of the prior season after returning from a neck injury, but played only seven snaps in Week 2 despite being declared healthy — apparently due to game flow. The expectation is he returns to a full workload. Ted Hurst led the team in targets and dropped two of Baker's best throws of the season. Chris Godwin remains a reliable possession receiver. Without a true alpha, the room is capable but entirely contingent on functional quarterback play.

=== Buccaneers Offensive Line ===
The line has had more positive individual moments than its reputation suggests, but has badly struggled with stunt pickups — failing to pass off looping defenders when set wide. Graham Barton is developing at center but has not yet acquired the pre-snap identification that elite centers use to anticipate stunts before they develop. Ledyard referenced the Jason Kelsey video featuring Tom Cruise — who "hangs on his every word" — as a model for the kind of pre-snap reads Barton still needs to develop. Against Brian Flores's two-man games layered on top of standard four-man rushes, the Buccaneers' pickup failures are likely to be exposed further.

=== Dallas Turner and the Vikings Pass Rush ===
Ledyard assessed Turner as well-drafted, with athleticism that slots cleanly into the angles Flores creates. The Vikings are the least-blitzed team in the league through two weeks (having faced Cleveland and Cincinnati), so Flores's scheme will represent a significant difficulty jump. The Vikings' distinctive structural feature — blitzing heavily while keeping split-safety two-high coverage behind it, capping deep balls even against quarterbacks who throw deep often — matches badly with Baker's tendency to take shots downfield under pressure.

=== Buccaneers Tight Ends ===
Golden Gopher Coque Kief has played one offensive snap on the season. Cade Otten is the primary passing target at the position and has made at least one remarkable contested catch; Payne Durham is a quality blocker. Ledyard believes the room is more capable than it appears, but the offensive coordinator has not deployed them with any discernible logic. The absence of any 12 or 13 personnel usage — in a league trending heavily toward heavier groupings — is one of several decisions that has not yet resolved into a coherent identity for Zach Robinson's offence.

=== Edge Rushers and Reuben Bain ===
Reuben Bain — a player whose name carries ongoing significance for the show — had traits Ledyard questioned at the draft level, particularly pass-rush athleticism and arm length. Early evidence suggests he can develop, though the Buccaneers' institutional resistance to developing pass rushers has complicated his trajectory. A comparison to Tyree Wilson — whose college tape was produced on a broken foot, and who was still being blocked by tight ends — established the baseline for what failed translation looks like. Ledyard is not writing Bain off.

=== Alex Anzalone and Linebackers ===
Ledyard's verdict on Alex Anzalone: potentially the worst defensive player in the league. He ranks 510th or lower out of 513 qualifying defenders by PFF grade through two weeks. Ledyard acknowledged PFF is unreliable on interior defensive linemen but expressed confidence in this specific assessment. Arif briefly pivoted to Sonny Styles (Washington linebacker), whose preseason coverage implied struggles; Ledyard suggested he is simply playing fast and needs to slow the game down — a developmental arc rather than a talent ceiling.

=== Buccaneers Secondary and Antoine Winfield Jr. ===
Antoine Winfield Jr. was responsible for the game-winning touchdown in a Buccaneers loss — allowing a late score after 57 preceding plays had done the heavier work of determining the outcome. Arif asked if Ledyard missed Jamel Dean, Carlton Davis, and Sean Murphy Bunting as football players. Ledyard confirmed he misses Charmere Vundig — who, separately, had previously sent Ledyard unfriendly messages after a critical take, and has since returned to an NFL practice squad.

=== Game Matchup and Prediction ===
The Vikings are favoured by 1.5 points. Kyler Murray has had five snaps as a Viking, the most memorable of which was an interception Ledyard described as "something, man" — a strong candidate for end-of-season top-10 wildest plays regardless of what follows. Aaron Jones is potentially playing through injury. Ledyard declined to pick the Buccaneers, describing them as a talented team executing like a bad one — undisciplined, poorly coached, prone to self-destruction. With the Packers and Cowboys to follow a potential 0–3, he characterised their situation as genuine desperation.

== Mailbag ==

* '''Tommy Gunn''' — If forced to choose based on the last two games, would the hosts prefer a comeback win or a low-scoring defensive victory? Arif prefers the defensive one. A comeback is a worse aesthetic and emotional experience, and he does not want to be conditioned to need them.

* '''Kyle Segall''' — His wife and he are going to the game. Arif responded in Spanish ("por qué no los dos"), which James noted represents the entirety of his Spanish-language repertoire. Arif mused about Kyler not finishing the game; James offered the tie as a third option, which Arif also found plausible and equally annoying.

* '''Ricardo''' (''For Uncle Arif's Impending Doom Corner'') — The Flores defence is rolling, but Ricardo, as a good Vikings fan, knows the rug will eventually be pulled. When? Arif: probably not this year. No defensive innovation has survived indefinitely in the NFL, but no one has cracked it yet and the personnel fit is unusual enough that the adjustment window may be longer than normal.

* '''Skimbleshanks (The Railway Cat)''' — Who will have the longer NFL career: Mike Hughes or LaQuan Treadwell? Both hosts expressed genuine shock that LaQuan Treadwell is not only still active but recently had a good game.

* '''Raoul''' (''For the Nomenclature Corner'') — Proper definition of blitz, and an introduction to "Young Nasty University" — the official nickname of Brian Flores's defence, sourced from an Athletic locker room piece in which Dominique Orange had to be coaxed into saying it in front of the reporter. Arif also admitted he abandoned the "Is Jordan Love good?" discourse a year too early and should have held the line longer. He notes Brock Purdy did not pan out, but most of his takes on young quarterbacks did.

* '''Rowell''' (''For the Movie Night Corner'') — Asking about films to show a five-year-old daughter outside the animation canon. Arif recommends Mean Girls and the broader Lindsay Lohan universe (Freaky Friday, the Herbie films), though notes Mean Girls has a natural age floor. James argues for starting as early as possible on the grounds that "you go, Glen Coco" should enter the household vocabulary immediately.

* '''Arif's Midlife Crisis''' (''For James's Third Times the Charm Corner'') — Asks for wedding details after a presumed postal failure. James confirmed Dusty is best man and has been working on his speech; the only preview offered is that the last time Dusty prepared a speech this thoroughly, he and a friend won first place in a debate competition. Arif began workshopping prop bets: plus-200 on a suit made of a non-traditional fabric (velvet), plus-150 on a brightly coloured red or pink suit. James confirmed there will be no Red Hot Chili Peppers shirtless performance.

* '''Room Temperature''' (''For Dusty's Running Away Corner'') — Dusty, who technically ran away, is returning to the basement this weekend. The race car bed is gone. Arif noted that Richfield has a Costco and is therefore not without merit.

* '''Room Temperature''' (''For Arif's Offensive Gestures Corner'') — What is the least offensive thing a player could do that would still earn an NFL fine? Arif described Jamar Chase's "people's elbow" celebration — one hand placed on the opposite tricep, arm dropped — as an elaborate agreed-upon game between the league and the player, rooted in a Key and Peele skit that apparently made the gesture canonical. This question gives the episode its title.

* '''Room Temperature''' also asked who will be drunkest at James's wedding. Arif denied ever having been drunk, while acknowledging that in Seattle he had consumed enough drinks to need to assess his body weight before deciding whether to accept further offers.

* '''Wentz Messiah Complex''' (''For Arif's Critical Economics Corner'') — On the broader commodification of things that should not be commodified: prediction markets, speculation, gambling. Both hosts cited "just legalise gambling" as the worst take either of them has ever had. A tweet crystallised this. They are sorry.

* '''Logan''' (''For Arif's Takes Corner'') — What would a fantasy football team built from Arif's worst takes look like? Arif began drafting by position: player performance takes (Chad Greenway bad at football — the one-one pick), analytical takes (the running back position), and individual viral moments (Mitch Trubisky throwing left, which made television and which Trubisky himself acknowledged). James proposed a Part 2. The episode closed with a shoutout to a Reebok McNabb Vikings jersey, and a brief recap of Chris Cluey — who gave up number 5 for McNabb in exchange for ice cream and a charitable donation, received partial payment years later, and has since won a Minnesota City Council primary.

== Key Bits & Lore ==
* '''Young Nasty University''' — Brian Flores's defence has an official nickname, sourced from an Athletic locker room piece; linebacker Dominique Orange had to be coaxed into saying it in front of the reporter
* '''James's Wedding''' — James is getting married Thursday; [[Dusty]] is best man and has prepared a speech last comparable to a winning debate performance; Arif's prop bet sheet is already in development
* '''The Seattle Live Show''' — Arif and James did a live show in Seattle; afterwards, they rented bikes and rode to the John Lennon statue in the Fremont neighbourhood; Arif had not biked in approximately 15–20 years; both were, technically, not drunk
* '''The Ben Boulware Incident''' — Guest Jon Ledyard publicly called Ben Boulware a bad athlete while scouting him; Boulware tracked him down at the Senior Bowl and confronted him in person; Boulware was cool about it; CBS Sports covered it; Ledyard stands by the take
* '''Arif's Worst Takes Hall of Fame''' — Mitch Trubisky throwing left (made television, Trubisky confirmed it) and Chad Greenway bad at football are the first two picks in the fantasy draft of Arif's worst takes; a Part 2 is implied
* '''"Just Legalise Gambling"''' — Both hosts have publicly recanted; the prediction market and sports gambling ecosystem has produced exactly the chaos they should have anticipated
* '''Kyler Murray's First Meaningful Play as a Viking''' — An interception; Ledyard considers it a strong top-10 wildest plays candidate regardless of what follows
* '''LaQuan Treadwell Is Still Active''' — Both hosts needed a moment
* '''Charmere Vundig in Jon Ledyard's DMs''' — After a critical take, the former Buccaneers corner sent unfriendly messages; Vundig is now back on an NFL practice squad; Ledyard is philosophical

[[Category:Episodes]]
[[Category:Season 2026]]
[[Category:Episodes with guests]]

Episode Archive

Damian — Fri, 25 Sep 2026 16:15:51 GMT

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:15, 25 September 2026
Line 9:		Line 9:
	{\| class="wikitable sortable" style="width:100%"		{\| class="wikitable sortable" style="width:100%"
	! style="width:60px" \| # !! Title !! Notes		! style="width:60px" \| # !! Title !! Notes
			\|-
			\| [[Episode 615\|615]] \|\| The Least Offensive Thing \|\| ✓
	\|-		\|-
	\| [[Episode 614\|614]] \|\| The City of Chicago’s Fault \|\| ✓		\| [[Episode 614\|614]] \|\| The City of Chicago’s Fault \|\| ✓

Episode 614

Damian — Tue, 22 Sep 2026 17:22:42 GMT

Created page with "{{EpisodeInfobox | number = 614 | title = The City of Chicago's Fault | hosts = Arif Hasan, James Pogatshnik | guests = None | type = Regular Season }} '''Norse Code Episode 614: The City of Chicago's Fault''' was the week two recap episode following the Vikings' 9–3 win in Chicago. The episode covered the Vikings' historic blitz rate, Dallas Turner's pace to shatter PFF records, Caleb Williams' hamstring injury and the discourse surroundi..."

New page

{{EpisodeInfobox
| number = 614
| title = The City of Chicago's Fault
| hosts = Arif Hasan, James Pogatshnik
| guests = None
| type = Regular Season
}}

'''Norse Code Episode 614: The City of Chicago's Fault''' was the week two recap episode following the Vikings' 9–3 win in Chicago. The episode covered the Vikings' historic blitz rate, Dallas Turner's pace to shatter PFF records, Caleb Williams' hamstring injury and the discourse surrounding his face, Jalen Redmond's coming-out performance, Carson Wentz's limitations made explicit, and a mailbag that included the Wagner corner, the GOAT of blocked kicks, the trap game debate, and which upcoming opponent could most plausibly crack Brian Flores. The episode closed with the return of the "this is not sustainable" stinger.

== Overview ==
The cold open covered the Oops All Punters league, in which James lost because a Giants punter kicked one 78 yards in the air with no bounce, and because Jameis Winston was the Bears' backup and generated zero punting. Jackson Dart had bent his knee the wrong way in the game, with the injury suspected to be an MCL — concerning but not catastrophic. The main episode ran shorter than usual: the game was a 9–3 defensive shutdown played in driving rain with a backup quarterback, which left limited material to cover on offence, and the mailbag reflected it.

== Game Recap: Vikings 9, Bears 3 ==

=== The Caleb Williams Injury and Discourse ===
Caleb Williams suffered a non-contact hamstring injury and left the game on a cart, giving a thumbs up. The image generated a significant meme cycle — best entries identified were "me sleeping on the uncomfortable couch in the hospital after my wife gives birth" and "my dog after we spent $500 at the vet and it turns out nothing is wrong." The discourse was separately assessed as nuts: Will Compton of Bussin' With the Boys posted that Williams' pain face was inappropriate; Kyle Long responded "you posted what you posted"; Compton deleted and reposted a retraction speculating that if he and Caleb were friends they would laugh about it together. Arif's take: quarterbacks who get hit for a living have extraordinary pain tolerances; there was a hit earlier in the same game where Williams visibly folded in half, then stood up and threw a 20-yard strike; getting a face about potentially missing games because you love playing football is permitted.

=== The Blitz Rate ===
Arif published a piece at Wide Left Football on the Vikings' blitz rate and where it sits in NFL history. Key data points:

No team had exceeded a 61% blitz rate before Brian Flores with the Vikings. Last year, Flores broke that record with 63.3% — leading second place by 21 percentage points, a gap equal to the difference between second place and 18th. The 2026 Vikings, through two games, are blitzing at '''83%'''. The dot representing this on Arif's box-and-whisker chart is in the title card of the image — it cannot coexist on the same canvas as the rest of the data.

Against the Bears specifically, the blitz rate was 84.4%, with 27 of Caleb Williams' 32 dropbacks involving a blitz. Arif identified this as likely the most blitz-heavy defence in NFL history, with the caveat that tracking data only goes back to 2006 via PFF. The unique structural feature of the Flores defence: it is the only team running split-safety two-high coverages (Cover 4, Cover 6, Cover 2) behind the blitz, sometimes blitzing six while keeping four deep defenders in quarters. Arif described this as "truly psychotic behaviour."

Caleb Williams — who entered the game with a reputation for performing well against blitzes — finished with 2.5 adjusted net yards per attempt, one interception, zero touchdowns, three sacks, and a 29% success rate. Second-largest offensive point swing in the Super Bowl era, after a 1973 Falcons game. The largest recent comparable was the 2023 Vikings–Raiders game, also a Brian Flores defence.

=== Dallas Turner ===
Turner led all defenders in week two with 11 pressures. Andrew Van Ginkel had five; Jalen Redmond had four. Turner now leads the league with 20 pressures across two weeks and is on pace for 170, which would be a PFF record by a substantial margin. Arif contextualised the scepticism: Turner is generating many of these pressures against tight ends and on unblocked assignments created by the scheme, not through double teams against true pass sets in the manner of J.J. Watt or Aaron Donald. His assessment: Turner has a unique value to this specific defence, his athleticism slots perfectly into the blocking angles Flores creates, and the correct framing is a good player meeting a great system — which is fine to say without needing to claim he is the best defender in the league.

A post on the Vikings subreddit extrapolated Turner's pressure pace to its logical absurdity. A representative line: "In week 13, his sack rate will surpass one per second of game clock. By week 16 or 17, the vast majority of sacks recorded since it became an official statistic in 1982 will have been by Dallas Turner in 2026." Both hosts found this beautiful.

=== Jalen Redmond and the Blocked Field Goal ===
Redmond had four consecutive plays at one point in the game during which the announcer noted he could not stop saying his name. He forced the fumble at the goal line; Isaiah Rogers recovered it and performed the hot-diggity-dog dance. The blocked field goal was credited to Isaiah Rogers, but Arif flagged that the Bears' field goal protection (specifically Sam Rauch) was the worst he had ever seen — the protector's elbows were on his knees before the snap, and he did not move. Byron Murphy had a better game than week one, assessed as not yet playing at his contract level but functional. Christian Darrisaw was outstanding. The safeties were not particularly notable, which was taken as a positive given the Vikings only surrendered three points.

=== Caleb Banks ===
Banks had the worst PFF grade of either team at 30.1, with 29.6 in run defence despite four run stops. One pressure on 18 pass-rush snaps. Arif's assessment: he had positive plays that were real and worth seeing in the Brian Baldinger breakdown clips, but the negative plays outweighed the positives. Should not be starting or playing 60 snaps. Not a reason to panic — a reason to manage deployment.

=== The Offence ===
Carson Wentz finished with 63.2% accuracy (ninth percentile), passes located poorly for yards after catch or receiver protection, inconsistent pocket management. Arif's framing: thinking of him as a backup quarterback who performed above the average backup, not as a starting quarterback who played adequately. Jordan Mason's eventual return will change the calculus. Aaron Jones carried 23 times for 105 yards at 4.5+ per carry (80th percentile yards before contact, two explosives) and was reportedly very sore after the game. Jordan Addison caught his first ball of the season on a behind-him throw he had to reel in. Will Reichard's field goal struck the upright and bounced through. Arif speculated he was bored and aimed for the upright. The offence ran at a 26% success rate — contextualised by rain, a backup quarterback, and a deliberate heavy-run game plan, but not a standard to maintain.

Garrett Bradbury had multiple penalties and gave up pressures, finishing with the worst PFF grade among offensive linemen — described as "back to his antics" and "nice to see the hits, good to hear from an old friend."

Bears backup '''Jack Strand''' — a Minnesota native — entered after Williams' injury. Framed as a Tom Clancy protagonist: the one who is slightly racist but it's okay because he is American. Also described as the season three villain on Paradise, which was corrected to protagonist. Cooper Rush was benched for a man named Jack Strand, which both hosts found funny.

== Mailbag ==

* '''Tank B''' — How will the Bears spin Caleb's injury as the city of Chicago's fault, and what will Indiana offer to help? Arif: the city of Chicago's fault is obvious — outdoor stadium, natural grass, rain, no billion-dollar roof because the city declined to fund one. Indiana will offer the entire city of Gary, which is worse than Chicago in most measurable respects but does have the potential for a roof.

* '''Skolobites''' — Was Garrett Bradbury the best Vikings offensive lineman on the field? Arif: he was doing significant work for Minnesota — multiple penalties, multiple pressure giveups, worst PFF grade on the offensive line. Christian Darrisaw was great. Also from Skolobites: given the Baldy tape breakdown, how good should Vikings fans feel about Caleb Banks after Sunday? Arif: the positive clips are real and the plays happened. The grade reflects that negative plays outweighed positives. He should not be playing 60 snaps. Continue to be excited about potential, do not expect him to start.

* '''Arif's Midlife Crisis''' — Can Flores be the first to blitz 100%? Arif: 27 of 32 dropbacks were blitzes against the Bears. What was he thinking on the other five? There has to be a game at some point where an opponent simply does not drop back to pass often enough to give Flores the opportunity to be tested, and every single dropback becomes a blitz.

* '''Wentz Messiah Complex''' — Were the Bears just le tired from scoring too many points last week? Arif: the emotional hangover is documented. The Dolphins scored 70 in week three of 2023, then gave up 48 to the Bills in week four. The Vikings' 2-0 record reflects getting the right side of two coin flips with a backup quarterback. With Kyler, these are not close games.

* '''Wentz Messiah Complex''' (also) — Which punter won the head-to-head, Thorson or Taylor? Taylor: two punts inside the 20 vs three for Thorson; 50% return rate conceded. Thorson: better hang time, 25% return rate conceded, 100 more pure punting yards. Thorson probably had the better game. Taylor is still probably the better punter. He probably should not have been called a weapon when they drafted him in the fourth round.

* '''Paul''' — Reasons for optimism given that two first wins felt like coin flips? Arif: the Vikings defence is very good, probably heading toward a top-three finish. The quarterback situation is improving with Kyler's return. They are likely favoured in the next two games. Getting the right side of two coin flips is not a bad starting position. This is not a team that deserves to be 0-2.

* '''Raul''' — Pick your defensive mind: Zimmer or Flores. Is 2017 still the gold standard? Arif: the 2017 Vikings defence had the best third-down conversion rate allowed on record going back to 1991, and is legitimately in the conversation for one of the better defences of the decade — behind the 2013 Seahawks, 2015 Broncos, and arguably 2019 Patriots. In his head, peak Zimmer is probably better. In his heart, Flores is what is happening right now and it is insane. Also from Raul: who is the GOAT of blocked kicks? Pro Football Journal's data historian lists Ted Hendricks first in combined punt and kick blocks (22.5 with seven punt blocks). Alan Page is second with 27 combined, 26 of which are kick blocks — the most straight kick blocks on record. Of modern players: Sean Rogers (17), Julius Peppers (13), Calais Campbell (10). Three Vikings in the top 30: Carl Eller (28th), Matt Blair (5th), Alan Page (2nd).

* '''Damian Barrett''' — Tampa or Miami: which is the bigger trap game? Arif: Miami, easily. They are bad at nearly every position. The Vikings will be emotionally relaxed going in, which is dangerous. The 2018 game — Vikings were 18-point favourites, lost the biggest regular-season upset in NFL history at that point — was invoked as mandatory reminder. Harrison Smith is the ideal messenger for that warning. Tampa has real players: Baker is volatile but capable of going off, Mike Evans is Mike Evans, Vita Vea and Antoine Winfield are legitimate. Miami is just bad.

* '''Antatek''' — Which upcoming opponent is most likely to crack the Flores blitz? Arif: Brock Purdy (highest EPA per play against the blitz over three years, week 11, Shanahan can scheme it) and Josh Allen (highest success rate on deep balls against the blitz, second or third best scrambler in the NFL, can outrun the secondary if the edge is unblocked). Weeks 8 (Goff), 9 (Allen), and 11 (Purdy) flagged.

* '''Nolan Kehler''' — Wagner corner: Is Carson Wentz more of a Siegfried, a Parsifal, or a Lohengrin? Arif: Parsifal passed purity tests including virginity, which may be how Wentz sees himself, not how the evidence suggests he should. Lohengrin has superhuman charisma and fighting ability — antithetical. Siegfried, per Wagner's own letter to Uhlig: "a boy so stupid, he had never learned to be afraid." Case closed.

* '''Room Temperature''' — Same Name, Different Job corner: averaging love for the player and celebrity of the same name — Harrison Smith (safety) vs Harrison Smith (InfoWars host), Paul Allen (play-by-play) vs Paul Allen (Microsoft co-founder), Jay Ward (cornerback) vs Jay Ward (Rocky and Bullwinkle creator and also a baseball player), Fran Tarkenton (quarterback) vs Fran Tarkenton (host of That's Incredible, loan company shill, Tony Robbins associate). Arif's clarification: those are all the same Fran Tarkenton. Winner: Jay Ward — his Wikipedia page has no controversy section, and mild anti-Russian sentiment during the 1960s compares favourably to co-founding Microsoft and running InfoWars. Jay Ward, Jay Ward, Jay Ward.

== Key Bits & Lore ==
* The Vikings' blitz rate through two games is '''83%''' — the Flores chart dot is in the title card of the image because there is no scale on which it and the rest of the data can coexist
* The second-largest offensive point swing in the Super Bowl era: the Bears went from 59 points in week one to 3 in week two. The only larger recent comparable is also a Brian Flores defence (2023 Vikings–Raiders)
* Dallas Turner is on pace for 170 pressures, which would be a PFF record. By week 16–17 of that trajectory, the majority of sacks recorded since 1982 will have been Dallas Turner in 2026
* Jalen Redmond forced a fumble; Isaiah Rogers recovered it and performed the hot-diggity-dog dance. Peak fatherhood
* Sam Rauch's field goal protection was the worst Arif has ever seen — elbows on knees, no movement before or during the snap
* '''Jack Strand''' (Bears backup, Minnesota native) is a Tom Clancy protagonist — slightly racist, definitively American, starring this fall on Fox
* The "this is not sustainable" stinger returned in the episode outro
* Arif has had one hour of sleep since Sunday morning. He will sleep before editing the college notebook
* Carson Wentz is Siegfried: a boy so stupid he had never learned to be afraid
* Jay Ward (Rocky and Bullwinkle) is also a baseball player. No controversy section on Wikipedia. He wins

[[Category:Episodes]]
[[Category:Season 2026]]

Episode Archive

Damian — Tue, 22 Sep 2026 17:22:30 GMT

2026 Season

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:22, 22 September 2026
Line 9:		Line 9:
	{\| class="wikitable sortable" style="width:100%"		{\| class="wikitable sortable" style="width:100%"
	! style="width:60px" \| # !! Title !! Notes		! style="width:60px" \| # !! Title !! Notes
			\|-
			\| [[Episode 614\|614]] \|\| The City of Chicago’s Fault \|\| ✓
	\|-		\|-
	\| [[Episode 613\|613]] \|\| The Ring Cycle \|\| ✓		\| [[Episode 613\|613]] \|\| The Ring Cycle \|\| ✓

Episode 613

Damian — Sat, 19 Sep 2026 14:32:50 GMT

Created page with "{{EpisodeInfobox | number = 613 | title = The Ring Cycle | hosts = Arif Hasan, James Pogatshnik | guests = Lorin Cox | type = Regular Season }} '''Norse Code Episode 613: The Ring Cycle''' was the week two preview episode, opening with a discussion of a viral battle commander efficiency chart and Arif's emerging interest in submarines, before moving into an extended Bears preview interview with Lorin Cox of Locked On Bears and Cox Sports 1...."

New page

{{EpisodeInfobox
| number = 613
| title = The Ring Cycle
| hosts = Arif Hasan, James Pogatshnik
| guests = Lorin Cox
| type = Regular Season
}}

'''Norse Code Episode 613: The Ring Cycle''' was the week two preview episode, opening with a discussion of a viral battle commander efficiency chart and Arif's emerging interest in submarines, before moving into an extended Bears preview interview with Lorin Cox of Locked On Bears and Cox Sports 1. The mailbag covered the grammar of broadcast sign-offs, the PFF grade controversy surrounding Caleb Williams, the Ring Cycle as a metaphor for the 2026 Vikings season, Ed Sheeran's band refusing to perform on moral grounds, and the appropriate amount of condiments on a hot dog. The episode title came from a listener question placing the Vikings at the Walküre phase of Wagner's Ring Cycle.

== Overview ==
The cold open centred on a viral chart plotting historical military commanders by total battles fought and War Wins Above Replacement. Napoleon Bonaparte occupied the upper-right corner, alone, in the manner of Mahomes on every efficiency chart from 2020. Robert E. Lee was placed on fraud watch. McClellan's positive WAR was described as borderline insanity. George Washington was identified as a system commander. Arif noted the chart's exclusion of Genghis Khan and any Mongols, and expressed a nascent interest in submarines. James noted he had gotten into smoking meats but had not forgotten his roots of watching the History Channel back when it covered history rather than pawn stars. The interview with Lorin Cox followed, with the mailbag running shorter than usual.

== Bears Preview: Interview with Lorin Cox ==
Arif interviewed Lorin Cox — formerly of PFF (seven years, part-time), currently of Locked On Bears and Cox Sports 1 ("like Fox Sports 1, with a C," a tagline Cox was made to wait the entire episode to deploy) — ahead of the Vikings-Bears week two matchup.

=== PFF and Caleb Williams ===
The interview opened on the controversy around PFF grading Caleb Williams 22nd in week one despite him finishing third in EPA per dropback, fifth in passer rating, and third in success rate. The primary issue was a play nullified by offside: Williams threw a red-zone interception to a defensive lineman who appeared to be lined up offsides rather than jumping. PFF graded it minus-1.5; Sam Monson suggested minus-1.0 would have been more appropriate. Cox confirmed: the issue was less the individual play evaluations and more the conversion from PFF's plus/minus system to its 0–100 scale, which amplified small disagreements into a much larger final grade discrepancy. Williams' adjusted grade (correcting the two contested plays) would likely place him around 11th–13th, not 22nd. His percentage of positively graded plays was 17th; his percentage of negatively graded plays was 15th best. The play-by-play reality was a smart, decisive game built on checkdowns and completions rather than heroic throws, which the 0–100 conversion struggles to capture.

=== The Bears Offence ===
'''Offensive Line''': Braxton Jones at left tackle is a placeholder until Ozzy Chapilla (second-round pick, patellar tendon injury, returning ahead of any medically reasonable schedule) is ready to play. Jones is inconsistent and cannot anchor reliably but will not derail the game plan. Garrett Bradbury is a downgrade at centre from the retired Drew Dalman. Right tackle Darnell Wright dealing with a minor knee injury but expected to play. The line was assessed as clearly worse than last year but not bad.

'''Running Backs''': DeAndre Swift was extended during the week on what Cox described as fair market value. He is demonstrably better than during his Detroit years — getting downhill, taking available yards rather than bouncing outside, no longer the elusive-but-slow mystery that his speed metrics never fully explained. The Swift/Kesi Monongai pairing was discussed: Swift is more well-rounded, slightly better blocker and receiver out of the backfield; Monongai is more north-south, better contact balance, and — contrary to perception — pulled away for a 61-yard run, suggesting he is faster than people think while Swift is slower. Both have the opposite of their nominal reputations. Roschon Johnson was assessed as a bust from the fourth round.

'''Receivers''': Colston Loveland identified as the most important weapon — fast, athletic, a legitimate wide receiver alignment option, currently receiving linebacker and safety matchups that will narrow as the league adjusts. Luther Burden is the most explosive player with the ball in his hands. Jaidyn Alexis made the roster as a blocker who gets rewarded with end-zone targets — one catch, one yard, one touchdown in week one. Jaylen Coker and Ted McMillan were noted as genuinely good players held back by having Bryce Young delivering the ball.

'''Run Scheme''': The Bears were first in the NFL in outside zone percentage in week one — over 50% per Sumer Sports, with 75% zone overall per PFF. No inside zone. No power. No counter. Arif identified 291 rushing yards, 39 attempts, 7.5 yards per carry, and six rushing touchdowns against the Panthers. Cox noted the genius of the scheme is that it looks radically different to a defence on every snap despite being structurally identical: different formations, different alignments, different motion looks, wide receivers working back across the formation that could be jet sweeps, fake jet sweeps, play-action, or run-fits — all designed to make it impossible to just key on "outside zone, running right."

'''Caleb Williams vs. Brian Flores''': Williams was the second-most-blitzed quarterback in week one after Jordan Love. He graded slightly worse against the blitz than against non-blitz looks, partly attributed to zone coverage behind Panthers blitzes giving him no clean answer when his first read wasn't there. Cox noted his real improvement was decisiveness on checkdowns — a weakness last year — and the question for week two is whether he maintains that under Flores's specific brand of pressure or reverts. Arif flagged that Williams attempted the third-most deep balls in week one by volume despite the 55% blitz rate, and that the Vikings had been number one in the NFL in preventing deep shots last year. Ben Johnson's 5-1 record as coordinator/head coach against Flores was contextualised: the two games as Bears head coach were eighth and ninth in best defensive performances allowed across 52 Johnson-coached games, and Jared Goff understands the Flores defence in a way that is probably not easily transposed onto Williams.

'''MVP Odds''': Williams had jumped to second in MVP odds behind Josh Allen, ahead of Lamar Jackson. Cox: good value, not a confident pick. The award is narrative and momentum-driven; voter fatigue with Lamar and Allen exists; but if Chicago's formula keeps emphasising the run game, Goff never won an MVP in Detroit for the same reason.

'''Best Quarterback in the Division''': Cox: Caleb Williams for output and situation. Jared Goff in a vacuum, individually — better quarterback today, worse situation.

=== The Bears Defence ===
'''Missed Tackles''': 24.2% missed tackle rate in week one, second in the NFL behind Denver (26.1%). Nine of fifteen missed tackles were on receivers after the catch. TJ Edwards missed four — the most in a single game in his Bears career. Tyreek Stevenson missed three. Rookie Malik Muhammad missed three. Cox was not panicking but noted that missing tackles in man coverage compounds more severely than in zone, because there are fewer nearby defenders to clean up.

'''Pass Rush''': Bears were eighth worst in pass rush win rate. Pressure arrived late in plays, after quarterbacks had gone through one or two reads — valid pressure but not disruptive pressure. Montez Sweat, Austin Booker, Dio Odengbo ("motivated Dio Odengbo" was a Bears fan offseason meme that Odengbo himself has leaned into with a smile), Daniel Hardy. Neville Gallimore, Grady Jarrett (34, injured last year), Contavious Street (starting because the Bears traded Jervon Dexter for peanuts rather than extend him), and sixth-rounder Jordan Vandenberg — described by Arif as generating the kind of one-and-a-half-sack game in 2027 that will make people lose their minds. Former Viking James Lynch also in the rotation at both edge and defensive tackle.

'''Linebackers''': TJ Edwards and Devin Bush. Bush had at least one viral rep where a guard simply folded him backwards and he collapsed onto himself; PFF grades suggest he may have been the worst blitzing linebacker in the NFL in week one. Edwards is fine but missed four tackles. Cox assessed the linebacker room as the one supposedly reliable position group that did not look reliable.

'''Secondary''': Jalen Johnson (best training camp of his career, overly aggressive in week one, jumping routes, expected to correct), Tyreek Stevenson (the top concern against Justin Jefferson), Malik Muhammad II (best coverage performance week one of the three corners, also missed tackles), Dylan Thienemann at safety (first-round pick, Arif had noted him being mocked to the Vikings all offseason; Cox was high on him in the draft, assessed him as a safe floor pick with an unknown ceiling, gave up a touchdown on a play against Darren Waller that was flagged for OPI), Xavier Woods/Cam Lewis battling for the other safety spot. Kyler Gordon remains injured. Full health: a pretty good group. Current state: untested.

'''Special Teams''': Torrey Taylor, the fourth-round punter recruited as a weapon, forced a muffed punt via his banana ball spin technique, but the overall weapon promise remains undelivered. Cairo Santos hit two kickoffs short of the landing zone while apparently attempting a knuckleball technique. Bo Gardner from Georgia is the rookie long snapper. Cairo Santos described as reliable in the Hell League for not missing extra points.

=== Score Prediction ===
Cox reluctantly picked the Bears with low confidence, citing PTSD from week one last year when JJ McCarthy went full number nine in the fourth quarter. He assessed Kevin O'Connell and Brian Flores as a combination he trusted more than Ben Johnson and Dennis Allen, and noted the Vikings' quarterback volatility as the largest swing factor. He could not envision the Vikings starting 2-0 with Kyler Murray and Carson Wentz.

== Mailbag ==

* '''Leon''' — Over/under on Justin Jefferson slips on the grass: Arif set it at 2.5, suggesting the market might move to 3.5 as bettors forget how often this happens. Also from Leon: an explanation of the grammar behind "For X, I'm Y" as a broadcast sign-off. Arif: it is a fronted adjunct, evolving from radio's "Reporting for NPR, I'm Ira Glass" — over decades of use, the reporting-for construction was compressed and then the prepositional phrase moved to the front, becoming "For NPR, I'm Ira Glass," and eventually drifting to name the co-host instead of the institution. The meaning has loosened to the point where it functions as a conventional sign-off form with the original grammatical logic largely dropped.

* '''Osman''' — Over/under seven games until a Brosmer appearance. Arif: the over. Kyler is moving through the concussion protocol quickly and could play this week. If he returns and then Wentz and McCarthy both stay healthy for the remainder, reaching Brosmer requires a three-quarterback domino that is unlikely in the timeframe. The comparison to last time: then, Brosmer was QB3; now he is QB4, and Kyler is more likely to return from injury than McCarthy was.

* '''Kenneth Allen''' — What can we realistically learn from a game with Wentz starting against a Ben Johnson offence? Arif: the Ben Johnson vs. Flores record is a Lion's-era Goff artefact, not a system advantage worth extrapolating. Things to actually watch: Dominique Orange's snap count, whether Jonah Jackson's strong week one translates, whether Jordan Addison gets targets, and the safety/nickel corner usage — James Pierre as nickel, Jay Ward at safety, Theo Jackson and Josh Metellus in various sub-package combinations.

* '''James (unattributed)''' — Robert Kraft has been banned from performing at Gillette Stadium. What can the Wilfs ban, and on what grounds, to ensure the Vikings get their own happy ending? Arif: accuse Ben Johnson of something using the loosest possible definition of anti-Semitism to ban the Bears from US Bank Stadium. For Jared Goff: attribute a Ryan Gosling film role to him and ban him on those grounds. Nobody will be able to tell the difference.

* '''LeVar Bolsharif''' — Concussion corner: does a fencing response correlate with severity? Arif reviewed a Pitt/NFL study of 57 players: fencing response group cleared to play in 10 days on average, non-fencing response group in 9 days — no statistically significant difference. Symptom scores, cognitive scores, and balance scores also did not differ between groups. Selection bias caveat: a fencing response always triggers independent neurologist evaluation; non-fencing responses that are evaluated are the ones obviously severe enough to flag. Two identical head injuries may not be captured equally. Conclusion: medically, a fencing response does not appear to predict longer recovery in the NFL data available. There is an optical problem with Kyler returning quickly that is separate from the medical question. Also from LeVar: an itemised moral inventory of Arif's recent conduct including editing a "keep gambling" article (Arif: it said playing favourable odds, not gambling; there is a difference, and it is the entire piece), podcast episode descriptions, reposting Pat McAfee's music (Arif: it was a critique, not an endorsement), and promoting BetterHelp. James: this is not news. LeVar has been listening long enough to know there was no golden era.

* '''Nolan Taylor''' — For the Ring Cycle corner: at what point in the Ring Cycle do we find the 2026 Vikings? Arif: Die Walküre — the third produced but second in the cycle's intended order. In that opera, twins separated and reunited fall in love; the gods, angered, pursue punishment; the Valkyrie intervenes to save the couple and faces divine retribution as a result. The 2026 Vikings are at the moment of committing an as-yet-unidentified unspeakable sin. They will escape initial punishment through some heroic act. They will then face an even greater punishment, probably around week 17 or 18.

* '''Kyle Segall''' — Since Arif (who puts ketchup on hot dogs) is replacing James with Drew McGarry (who hates mayo), what awful mustard takes will be unleashed? Arif: ketchup on hot dogs is correct and normal, particularly given the salt-and-fat content of a hot dog pairing well with something vinegary and slightly sweet. Also excellent on hot dogs: diced raw onions, and various mustards — not French's bright yellow, which has limited application, but brown mustard enthusiastically, and Dijon for the genuinely controversial take. He once spent Christmas making a range of homemade mustards with his brother and then-girlfriend — varying spice levels controlled by the timing of water and acid addition to the mustard compounds — and brought them to his brother's in-laws' house. He will not apologise for any of this. James: he came around on mustard on hot dogs after vendor hot dogs in New York. Stone ground is very good.

* '''Damian Bolsharif''' — Which of Ed Sheeran's support acts will Arif be most disappointed not to see perform? Arif: his band ('''Beoga''', pronounced "Bioga," an Irish group). Context: Macklemore dropped Ed Sheeran's tour over political grounds. Ed Sheeran declined to cancel the tour himself, citing the band and crew members who depend on the income. His band responded by dropping out anyway, along with three other support acts. Arif noted the act of hiring Irish support acts and then taking a neutral stance on the events of the moment was, with hindsight, a scheduling error, as the Irish are famously very pro-Palestinian. Several tweets praising Macklemore's principled stance also noted that his music was not good, which Arif found excellent. One tweet described it as the first time the tweeter had to separate the art from the artist because the artist was good.

== Key Bits & Lore ==
* The 2026 Vikings are at '''Die Walküre''' — poised to commit an unspeakable sin, destined to be saved by a heroic act, and then face an even greater punishment approximately around week 17–18
* Napoleon Bonaparte occupies the upper-right corner of the battle commander WAR chart, alone, in a manner compared to Mahomes on every 2020 efficiency graphic
* Robert E. Lee is on fraud watch; McClellan's positive WAR is borderline insanity
* Arif is developing an interest in submarines and expects this to intersect eventually with texting Michael Kist
* Lorin Cox's tagline — "like Fox Sports 1, with a C" — was held the entire episode before being deployed
* DeAndre Swift is faster than people think; Kesi Monongai is also faster than people think; this is the entire scouting report
* Arif makes homemade mustard at Christmas. Brown mustard is correct. French's bright yellow is acceptable in limited contexts
* "Motivated Dio Odengbo" is confirmed canon in Chicago Bears lore; Odengbo is in on the joke
* Ben Johnson vs. Flores record (5–1 as coordinator/head coach): artefact of Jared Goff understanding the Flores defence, not a system advantage transferable to Caleb Williams
* Lorin Cox reluctantly picked the Bears. He noted he could not imagine the Vikings starting 2-0 with Wentz and Murray

[[Category:Episodes]]
[[Category:Season 2026]]

Episode Archive

Damian — Sat, 19 Sep 2026 14:32:33 GMT

2026 Season

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:32, 19 September 2026
(One intermediate revision by the same user not shown)
Line 10:		Line 10:
	! style="width:60px" \| # !! Title !! Notes		! style="width:60px" \| # !! Title !! Notes
	\|-		\|-
	\| [[Episode 612\|612]] \|\| James and Carson’s Throuple (Not Emotionally Regulated Enough to Lose) \|\| ✓\|		\| [[Episode 613\|613]] \|\| The Ring Cycle \|\| ✓
			\|-
			\| [[Episode 612\|612]] \|\| James and Carson’s Throuple (Not Emotionally Regulated Enough to Lose) \|\| ✓
	\|-		\|-
	\| [[Episode 611\|611]] \|\| Scoop and the City \|\| ✓		\| [[Episode 611\|611]] \|\| Scoop and the City \|\| ✓

Episode 612

Damian — Thu, 17 Sep 2026 14:28:26 GMT

Created page with "{{EpisodeInfobox | number = 612 | title = James and Carson’s Throuple (Not Emotionally Regulated Enough to Lose) | hosts = Arif Hasan, James Pogatshnik | guests = None | type = Regular Season }} '''Norse Code Episode 612: James and Carson’s Throuple (Not Emotionally Regulated Enough to Lose)''' was the week one recap episode, recorded at 11:43 PM immediately after the Vikings' opening win over the Packers. The episode covered the full fo..."

New page

{{EpisodeInfobox
| number = 612
| title = James and Carson’s Throuple (Not Emotionally Regulated Enough to Lose)
| hosts = Arif Hasan, James Pogatshnik
| guests = None
| type = Regular Season
}}

'''Norse Code Episode 612: James and Carson’s Throuple (Not Emotionally Regulated Enough to Lose)''' was the week one recap episode, recorded at 11:43 PM immediately after the Vikings' opening win over the Packers. The episode covered the full fourth-quarter collapse breakdown, Kyler Murray's injury and Javon Bullard's hit, Brian Flores's historic blitz rates, and a mailbag that included the Theranos Complex, the Oops All Punters first-week scores, the ranking of Justis's all-time worst moments, a comprehensive AI database failure review, and the Grand Forks bar guide. The episode title was originally "Not Emotionally Regulated Enough to Lose" but updated to "James and Carson’s Throuple" following a request from Wentz Messiah Complex in the Discord. Kyle Segall, in what may be his most significant contribution to the show's recorded history, finally joined Patreon for the final season.

== Overview ==
The hosts opened with the Australia game (49ers vs. Rams) and a Netflix stream that degraded progressively in resolution for Arif throughout the game, then pivoted to the Vikings' 29-point comeback win over the Packers. James had watched the first half from a bar in Castleton, North Dakota — notable stop for gas before Fargo on I-94 — at a friend's bachelor party, seated next to a man in what may have been a knockoff Carson Wentz jersey who was the least emotionally dysregulated person in the bar following the interception. The mailbag ran late into the night.

== Game Recap: Vikings vs. Packers, Week 1 ==

=== Kyler Murray and the Injury ===
Kyler Murray's start lasted approximately six plays. He threw an interception off his back foot — described by Arif as jumpy, indecisive, staying in the pocket too long — with a 28.6% success rate and 3.6 average yards per attempt across five dropbacks. Then, after a slide attempt, he took a first hit that was borderline under the protect-the-quarterback rules, followed by a second hit that Arif described as unambiguously reckless. Murray's helmet had come off from the first impact; the second hit landed on an unprotected quarterback and produced a fencing response visible on the broadcast.

Arif addressed the comparison to the Anthony Barr/Aaron Rodgers hit: the two situations are not comparable. Barr did not intend to injure Rodgers; Javon Bullard's hit was at minimum needlessly reckless even if intent cannot be established. Packers fans conflating the two were noted as doing so primarily because Vikings fans were involved in both incidents, not because the plays were similar.

The injury was not attributed to injury-proneness. Arif moved the concern meter "a tick" — not enough to draw conclusions, but enough to acknowledge the worst-case scenario looked like exactly what they saw.

=== Carson Wentz: Serviceable ===
Carson Wentz played the remainder of the game. He kept throwing the ball too far from his receivers but also too far from defenders, which Arif characterised as a low bar cleared adequately. He had a higher success rate than Murray's five-play sample. The Justin Jefferson free play — a direct result of an operational error that somehow resolved into everyone being on the same page — was cited as a flash of what a functional Vikings offence can produce. His two-point conversion attempt was one of his better throws of the day, which does not count in statistics. He was in visible pain multiple times.

The pre-snap chaos was discussed as a persistent issue across multiple quarterbacks and centres — Arif's conclusion: the Vikings need their actual centre to play centre, a requirement that has apparently not yet been fully implemented.

=== Brian Flores and the Blitz Rate ===
The Vikings blitzed at 87% (PFF) or 73.9% (Sumer Sports) — the highest blitz rate seen in approximately three years, going back to Week 18 of 2024 (Vikings vs. Lions). The three highest blitz rates since that point are all Brian Flores games. For context: the 95th percentile single-game blitz rate for a non-Flores team is approximately 50%. Flores blitzed at that rate and then half again.

Jordan Love's success rate was below 30% through most of the first half — below the lowest full-season success rate in the league the prior year (Cleveland Browns, 41.6%). By the end of the game it had crept to just over 40%, at which point it no longer mattered. His failures included sacks, interceptions, and fumbles — outcomes where a low success rate compounds severely.

Arif concluded the blitz was working even during the periods when it looked bad, because the big-play outcomes were outliers within a pattern of consistent failure. He compared monitoring this to slot machine variance: the memorable moments were the successes, but the base rate of failure was the informative signal. Halftime adjustments appeared to include more defensive line stunts, enabling cleaner one-on-one matchups for Blake Cashman's blitzes and contributing to a fourth-quarter Dallas Turner sack-fumble series.

=== The Fourth Quarter ===
The Vikings were down 12 with under 20 minutes to play. According to Opta Sports, they became the first team in NFL history to be trailing by 12 points with under 20 minutes remaining and win by 17 or more.

Key sequence of events in the comeback:

* Dallas Turner forced a fumble on a sack; Zach Bacobo-Welle recovered and carried it seven yards
* Andrew Van Ginkel sacked Love again on the very next play, forced another fumble, recovered it himself, and nearly returned it for a touchdown before being stopped at the one by Bacobo-Welle — a man who had just earned his carry
* Jordan Mason scored from one yard out — a '''Big Citrus''' goal-line run, notable for being exactly the kind of uncomplicated red-zone play Vikings fans had been requesting
* Harrison Smith tipped a Jordan Love pass intended for a receiver; unaware the tip had been caught, he was frustrated until Josh Metellus informed him James Pierre had intercepted it
* Justin Jefferson scored his second touchdown of the game, matching his total from the entire 2025 season, by stretching the ball across the goal line on a play that did not require the stretch but was funnier with it
* '''Trey Smack''' missed an extra point and then kicked a 59-yard field goal
* The Vikings lined up offside on the field goal, giving the Packers fourth and one
* Jordan Love attempted a quarterback sneak into a gap occupied by a 340-pound defensive tackle ('''Big Citrus'''), having just taken points off the board. He did not convert. The Packers never scored again
* Carson Wentz ran into his own lineman (McLellan, tripped by Carson Wentz, bracing so as not to fall on Carson Wentz), received a roughing the passer call, and the Vikings took a first down under the body-weight rule — '''the very rule the Packers had lobbied the league to implement'''

Aaron Jones scored his first career touchdown against the Packers. Christian Watson had 147 yards including an 81-yard touchdown early in the game, which Arif was required to acknowledge given his stated scepticism. Packers running back situation remained disorganised without Josh Jacobs, who had pled no contest to misdemeanor battery and criminal damage earlier in the week.

The Vikings-linear-Super-Bowl trophy, which had been at risk of ceasing to exist on a Packers win, is confirmed back in Vikings hands. Tracked by '''Alex Schulte''', who has been maintaining the tradition since its invention on the fly using rules neither host fully understands.

=== The Five Funniest Fourth-Quarter Moments ===
Ranked by Arif and James, ascending:

'''5.''' Justin Jefferson's unnecessary-but-correct touchdown stretch — funny for no clear articulable reason

'''4.''' Andrew Van Ginkel's scoop and almost-score, stopped at the one by Zach Bacobo-Welle

'''3.''' Harrison Smith believing he had dropped a pick, being noticeably upset, and needing to be told by Josh Metellus that James Pierre caught the tip

'''2.''' The broadcast graphic reading "SIX INCHES TOO SHORT" — Arif noted some viewers would feel personally attacked

'''1.''' A Packers defender taking the body-weight rule — the rule the Packers lobbied the league to create — and using it to give the Vikings a free first down on a drive that produced the go-ahead score. The defender braced to avoid putting body weight on Carson Wentz. Carson Wentz had run into him.

== Mailbag ==

* '''Harmonica''' — Is the Vikings win a record for fewest passing yards with five or more offensive touchdowns? Arif ran the query on Stathead (games since 1935 with at least 5 TDs and 135 or fewer passing yards). Three pre-merger games had lower passing yard totals. Post-2000, there are 18 such games, including the Detroit Lions' 52-14 win over the Titans in 2024 (61 passing yards). The Vikings' performance ranks 121st all-time since 1935 — approximately one game of this character per year. Last year's entry was also against the Packers, by the Ravens.

* '''LeVar Bolsharif''' — Can the Packers recover from this many blown leads in the LaFleur era? Arif ran percentage of losses attributable to blown fourth-quarter leads since 2020. The Packers rank third (updated to include this game), behind the LA Rams and Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and ahead of the Buffalo Bills and Detroit Lions. Minnesota is average — capable of losing any number of ways, which is described as "one of the perks."

* '''Raul''' — Is there a statistic backing up the intuition that a dropped interception on the previous drive means a touchdown is coming? Arif asked all four available AI database tools. '''Sumer Brain''' acknowledged it couldn't track dropped picks and proxied with pass-defended plays — the second most likely outcome on those drives was another interception, confirming the "ball don't lie" theory statistically. '''NFL Pro's fantasy AI''' said it couldn't answer non-fantasy questions, offering start/sit advice instead. '''Iverson''' (FTN's AI) lost the query, then reported the question was "out of scope" because it was "not yet wired to live data." '''PFF Guru''': asked for Trey Pipkins, Kingsley Anikbari, Christian Wilkins, and two people named Kingsley. Sumer Brain was declared the winner by default, which both hosts found troubling.

* '''Raul''' — Which quarterback gets to four starts first? Arif: probably Carson Wentz. Dark horse: Jameis Winston, who was filmed applying a full gallon of cologne in the background of a Cam Akers interview in a manner that suggested he had taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque and was operating on a different physics than the rest of the NFL.

* '''Ricardo''' — Ranking Justis Mosqueda's all-time worst moments: (1) "Gavel Banger" — forgetting the word judge during the Packers preview, landing on "gavel banger" instead; (2) Bong rips; (3) Waking up four hours late for a recording he was supposed to join immediately after writing his injury report, having decided to take a nap with no notice.

* '''Kenneth Allen''' — What long-running bits should get closure before the finale? Arif: the baby witches — the precursor segment, pre-all-the-other-witch-stuff, that Arif was genuinely enthusiastic about and James was like "I guess we're doing this." James: retiring to open a beekeeping farm, or deciding to do sumo instead. Also from Kenneth Allen: where does Sunday's game rank among all-time drunk games? The Packers game last year, the Lions game two years ago, the Colts game, both Bills games — the field is competitive. This one is up there.

* '''Kyle Segall''' — Is the Vikings win a cruel trick, a ploy to ensnare fans in false reality like shadows on Plato's cave wall? Arif: yes, every time, that is correct, that is how this works. James speculated Kyle had tripped, hit his head, and briefly perceived the universe.

* '''Jack Rackham''' — Is Carson Wentz better than Drake Maye? No. Also: Wentz arrived to practice in a vehicle with expired Indiana license plates. Arif and James debated whether to report this to police, settling on waiting until after the season. The theory that Wentz breaks into a different beat-up car each morning with a slim jim was not dismissed.

* '''Yannick''' — Where does Carson Wentz rank among Arif's enemies after winning the Vikings' Super Bowl? Arif: Aaron Rodgers remains number one permanently. Carson Wentz is up there. Also in the top tier: Michael Kist, Justis Mosqueda, Ben Solak, several Eagles-adjacent figures. DrawPlayDave is described as a trickster deuteragonist — more Mr. Freeze than Joker.

* '''Bottoms Up Socrates''' — How did Justis's Packers preview predictions hold up? He was correct that: (1) the run game would go back to outside zone basics, (2) Christian Watson would be useful. He was incorrect about: (1) the score (50,000–3 Packers). He also declared Luke Getsy a sleeper cell, which remains unresolved.

* '''Jack''' — Why is pre-snap chaos unique to Vikings among McVay-disciple teams? Arif: it wasn't a notable problem under Kirk Cousins with Garrett Bradbury. It has emerged across multiple quarterbacks and centres since. Conclusion: your centre needs to play centre.

* '''Wince Messiah Complex''' — Is Carson Wentz a T-Rex quarterback? Arif: it's a slot machine. Most outcomes are bad. The good outcomes are good enough to keep pulling the lever until the lever breaks off.

* '''Alex''' — Does kickoff coverage still have problems? Can Myles Price's return game compensate? Arif: yes, and probably not. The Myles Price return is likely not a persistent indicator.

* '''Chandler''' — Five funniest fourth-quarter moments. Covered in game recap above.

* '''Minneapolis Cinnamon Cheerios''' — Can the Bears tire themselves out after a huge week-one score before facing the Vikings? Arif referenced the 2023 Broncos-Dolphins 70-point game, after which neither team sustained it. The Bears have publicly stated they want to break the NFL scoring record this year. Arif: teams that win big emotional games sometimes follow up badly, particularly the Vikings. The Bears being too happy is, in his experience, a bad sign.

* '''Room Temperature''' — Which QB sneak was worse: Love this week or Cousins against the Bills in 2022? Arif: Cousins. Also from Room Temperature: what is the more impressive week-one feat — Justin Jefferson matching his 2025 touchdown total in one game, or the Jets matching their 2025 interception total in one game? Arif: Jefferson, but the Jets one is hilarious. Also from Room Temperature: being a lifelong Vikings fan gives you an attraction to partners with crazy eyes — what should this complex be called? Arif and James: '''The Theranos Complex'''. It sounds like a deadly disease. It is advertised six times during Monday Night Football. It is actually a cure for moderate to severe psoriasis. It is possibly something else. They will workshop it.

* '''Damian Bolsharif''' — Who is the bigger draft bust: JJ McCarthy at 10 or Brandon Aubrey in the Hell Leagues? James provided the Oops All Punters week-one update: Arif beat James 746–467. The highest score in the league was Kevin's 802. A close game occurred elsewhere at 385–382. The boards are beautiful. The league is perfect. Also: JJ McCarthy was inactive on Sunday, listed as emergency third-string quarterback. Start9.win has not updated to reflect this information.

* '''Arif's Midlife Crisis''' — Egg on face corner: Arif spent the offseason arguing Kyler was not injury-prone and that Start9's projections were wrong. Kyler was injured almost immediately. Arif: getting hit in the head without a helmet on is not an injury-proneness data point. Also: Start9.win assumed JJ McCarthy, if he lost the starting job, would have the backup job. He does not have the backup job.

* '''Andy''' — Minneapolis restaurant and bar recommendations: Matt's Bar (Juicy Lucy, mandatory, wait for it to cool down), Blue Door Pub (varied Juicy Lucy styles), Al's Breakfast in Dinkytown (cash, patience required), Tom's Watch Bar (all-day viewing), Poorhouse (great for watching all the games), Spoon and Stable (verify still open), 112 Eatery (downtown, small space, excellent food, reservations needed), Mayslacks. For the game itself: the Vikings Museum in Eagan was endorsed by James following a visit with his son.

* '''Francis Ford Copium''' — Grand Forks recommendations after ten years away: the Hub Pub (formerly the Hub, turned around, the water no longer causes illness, passes the dive test), Rhombus Guys, Up North in East Grand, Rumors for beer towers. University Avenue has expanded significantly. The new Memorial Union is impressive — James is a little jealous. A Hugo's grocery has opened in downtown, which is described as unsettling but functional. The open-air drug market behind Sled'sters has closed, for those who were planning around it.

* '''The Logic Dump''' — Son called the Packers "the Alpacas" during the game recap. Which other team deserves a rename? Arif: all 31 of them, universally. Denver Broncos → '''Boncos'''. James: his son thought the Vikings were called "the Teddies" after a Teddy Bridgewater shirt featuring a bear throwing a ball. James closed the episode: "go boncos."

== Key Bits & Lore ==
* '''Big Citrus''' — the Vikings defensive lineman Jordan Love chose to run a quarterback sneak directly into on fourth and one, having just taken three points off the board. He did not convert. The Packers never scored again
* '''The Theranos Complex''' — a newly named psychological condition: an attraction to partners with crazy eyes, caused by prolonged exposure to Minnesota Vikings football
* Kyle Segall joined Patreon for the final season. James thanked him for finding a lifeboat and boarding the Titanic as it went down
* The '''Vikings-linear-Super-Bowl Trophy''' is confirmed alive and back in Viking hands, tracked by Alex Schulte
* The Packers lobbied the NFL to implement the body weight rule. The body weight rule gave the Vikings a first down on the go-ahead drive
* Arif's Oops All Punters team beat James 746–467 in week one. Kevin had the highest score in the league: 802
* Carson Wentz has expired Indiana license plates on his vehicle. This has been noted for the record
* Arif compared Brian Flores to a card counter in his Wide Left game review piece
* James was in Castleton, North Dakota, at a bachelor party, next to a man in a probable knockoff Wentz jersey, who did not react when the interception happened because he already knew

[[Category:Episodes]]
[[Category:Season 2026]]

Episode Archive

172.18.0.1 — Thu, 17 Sep 2026 14:24:06 GMT

2026 Season

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:24, 17 September 2026
(2 intermediate revisions by the same user not shown)
Line 9:		Line 9:
	{\| class="wikitable sortable" style="width:100%"		{\| class="wikitable sortable" style="width:100%"
	! style="width:60px" \| # !! Title !! Notes		! style="width:60px" \| # !! Title !! Notes
			\|-
			\| [[Episode 612\|612]] \|\| James and Carson’s Throuple (Not Emotionally Regulated Enough to Lose) \|\| ✓\|
	\|-		\|-
	\| [[Episode 611\|611]] \|\| Scoop and the City \|\| ✓		\| [[Episode 611\|611]] \|\| Scoop and the City \|\| ✓

Episode 611

Damian — Tue, 15 Sep 2026 01:09:51 GMT

Created page with "{{EpisodeInfobox | number = 611 | title = The Answer Is Eric Hendricks, And I Will Not Explain Further | hosts = Arif Hasan, James Pogatshnik | guests = Justis Mosqueda | type = Regular Season }} '''Norse Code Episode 611: Scoop and the City''' was the season preview episode, covering the NFL International Series Australia game, Harrison Smith's re-signing, and a full Packers week-one preview recorded with Justis Mosqueda of Acme Packing Com..."

New page

{{EpisodeInfobox
| number = 611
| title = The Answer Is Eric Hendricks, And I Will Not Explain Further
| hosts = Arif Hasan, James Pogatshnik
| guests = Justis Mosqueda
| type = Regular Season
}}

'''Norse Code Episode 611: Scoop and the City''' was the season preview episode, covering the NFL International Series Australia game, Harrison Smith's re-signing, and a full Packers week-one preview recorded with Justis Mosqueda of Acme Packing Company. The mailbag included the inaugural Hell League kicker scandal, the Vikings-linear-Super-Bowl trophy update, Arif's cottage pie revelation, Aaron Rodgers and Sandy Hook, and the Nathan Fielder documentary. Justis Mosqueda, for the first time in recent memory, showed up on time.

== Overview ==
The cold open covered the NFL's Australia game between the 49ers and Rams — the 49ers apparently immune to jet-lag science, the Rams' Netflix stream deteriorating progressively in resolution for Arif until a reload was required. Harrison Smith's re-signing was announced and discussed before the show's first guest interview of the season: Justis Mosqueda of Acme Packing Company, whom James DMed without censoring himself to confirm attendance. The mailbag ended with James refusing to explain the episode title.

== Segments ==

=== Cold Open: The Australia Game ===
The NFL International Series game between the San Francisco 49ers and Los Angeles Rams in Australia — streamed on Netflix — prompted discussion of the Rams' much-publicised sleep science preparation. The 49ers, the most-injured team in the league, came out looking energised regardless; the Rams were lethargic. Arif noted the irony with satisfaction, having predicted a Rams win. The Netflix stream suffered progressive resolution degradation for Arif throughout the game, requiring multiple reloads with no buffering or time lost, which he found infuriating. James experienced the opposite problem — extreme darkness and incorrect colour correction, attributing this to Australia having a literal visual filter over it, akin to Breaking Bad's Mexico sepia tone.

The sleep science discussion was addressed: Arif had initially prepared to defend the Rams' approach citing circadian rhythm research, noting that the 17-hour clock difference between the US West Coast and Australia resolves to 7 hours of actual circadian disruption given the international date line, meaning a week's preparation should theoretically solve it. The Rams losing made this defence difficult to deliver. He retained it as technically sound while acknowledging it was not helpful on the day.

=== Harrison Smith Re-Signs ===
Harrison Smith signed a two-year deal with a cap hit of $3.4 million in year one and $8.4 million in year two ($11.8 million combined). Tom Pelissero reported an $8 million base; the actual structure is a $1.3 million base salary plus a $7 million signing bonus, with $4 million in per-game roster bonuses spread across the season. The maximum value is approximately $16 million. Arif reviewed active safety salaries and confirmed Smith ranks below Kyle Hamilton, Derwin James, Antoine Winfield, Kerby Joseph, Jessie Bates, and many others — including Josh Metellus and Julian Love — making overpay claims difficult to support.

Arif addressed the bot-heavy Twitter reply section under Tom Pelissero's tweet, where AI-generated accounts posing as sex workers had contextually replied with variations of "Vikings fans cheering a 37-year-old is why this franchise never wins anything." He walked through the mechanics: LLM bots reading images and video to generate contextual takes, generating engagement for Twitter payouts, harvesting session tokens from people who click the links. He noted they are often not run by the actual content creators whose material they use, and that clicking the links sometimes routes to paywalls or data-harvesting operations.

On fit: Smith's return frees Josh Metellus to operate closer to the line of scrimmage and in the box rather than playing a top-of-defence coverage role he is less suited for. It also creates creative space for Jay Ward deployments. Arif noted that if Jamal Adams had remained healthy, the roster construction would have been confusing — possibly moving Adams to a linebacker role — and concluded the injury, while unfortunate, led to a sensible outcome.

=== Packers Preview: Interview with Justis Mosqueda ===
Arif conducted an interview with Justis Mosqueda of Acme Packing Company ahead of the season opener. James confirmed cursing was left in. Justis arrived before 10 AM, having proposed recording before the injury report given it would tell them nothing.

'''Offensive Line'''
The Packers are transitioning back toward their traditional outside-zone, tempo-based identity after two to three offseasons of building toward inside-heavy, power-run blocking. Anthony Belton, a massive guard suited to the old system, has been repositioned at right tackle. Jacob Monk, a fifth-round rookie, is likely to start at right guard. Zach Tom is expected to play (partially torn patellar tendon last year, had surgery, timeline fits). Aaron Banks has knee tendinitis and may not complete 60 minutes — if he cannot go, Elgton Jenkins would likely slide in. Jordan Morgan is at left tackle, a position he played at Arizona before being misused inside. Sean Rhyan at centre — Justis proposed "Sean Rhyan, best centre in the NFC North" as a bit, which Arif confirmed might simply be true given Garrett Bradbury starting in Chicago and Juice Scruggs starting in Detroit.

'''Running Backs'''
No primary ball carrier. Marshawn Lloyd has played ten NFL snaps going into year three, exclusively due to injury and pass-protection issues. Chris Brooks is a reliable pass-protection option averaging approximately two carries per game. Caleb Johnson is a rookie from Iowa with connections to multiple LaFleur staff members — coached by Tim Lester (former LaFleur analyst) and played under Arthur Smith (former LaFleur assistant in Tennessee). Justis assessed Lloyd and Johnson as likely to split touches roughly equally.

'''Breaking News: Josh Jacobs'''
During the interview, news broke that Josh Jacobs had pled no contest to misdemeanor battery and criminal damage. He is ordered to avoid contact with the victim, attend counselling, and pay restitution. Jacobs' attorney confirmed he had already voluntarily begun counselling. Justis had previously consulted a Wisconsin district attorney about likely outcomes; the domestic-violence enhancer did not apply because Jacobs' girlfriend had not previously lived with him, which both hosts noted was a troubling legal threshold. Expected suspension: four to six games. The presiding judge was identified as a former Packers board member whose father also played for the team.

'''Receivers'''
Jayden Reed as the primary weapon. Christian Watson confirmed as a true Z this year rather than moving around. Matthew Golden at the X — Arif noted this was an unusual body-type assignment but smart scheme-wise, citing Stefon Diggs as a precedent. Skyy Moore and Bo Melton as backups to Reed and Golden respectively. J. Michael Sturdivant — whose first name is legally J. Michael, his father being Michael Sturdivant Sr. — as likely backup to Watson. Arif noted Watson was 10th in yards per route run over the second half of last season but carries the deepest depth of target in the league, which could be a misfit if the offence does shift to shorter, rhythm-based throws.

'''Tight Ends'''
Tucker Kraft healthy, assessed as the best skill-position player on the roster. May have been on a pitch count but likely ready for full usage given his ACL timeline. Luke Musgrave in his usual role. Mark Redman acquired as an inline blocker. John Fitzpatrick likely a healthy scratch, with Mark Redman doubling up his tight-end/fullback role.

'''Jordan Love vs. the Vikings'''
Love's EPA per dropback against the Vikings turns negative — the only opponent split in which this occurs. Justis's solution: have Chris Brooks declete someone every play to keep Love clean. Arif proposed the Packers blitz to manufacture pass rush given the edge rusher room; Justis agreed Gannon has been blitzing more than Hafley, more than a typical Fangio-school coordinator, running heavy Cover 1 and Cover 3. Jonathan Gannon confirmed as having intel on Kyler Murray from his time in Arizona.

'''Defence: Jonathan Gannon's System'''
Gannon leads the NFL in Quarters coverage since becoming a play-caller in Philadelphia, but also calls heavy Cover 1 and Cover 3. The '''Penny package''' — a 3-4 front replacing an inside linebacker with an extra defensive back — was explained: three true safeties, with Xavier McKinney operating 15 yards deep as a near-invisible post safety, Evan Williams and Javon Bullard below him. Arif compared it to Greg Williams's Browns defences.

'''Edge Rushers'''
Lukas Van Ness (first career start last season — he never started at Iowa). Barryn Sorrell (run stopper, will play early downs). Brenton Cox Jr. '''Nique Dennis-Sutton''' — fourth-round pick, Penn State, 250 pounds, 4.6 forty, sub-7.3 three-cone. Justis wanted him in the first round. He overheated in practice early, missed two preseason games, then wrecked shop in the third. Arif confirmed for listeners: a 250-pound pass rusher with a sub-7.3 three-cone is a significant athletic outlier — these players typically develop into All-Pros. The Packers are rostering only four edge rushers; Dennis-Sutton will have to play significant snaps.

'''Cornerbacks'''
Keisean Nixon at left corner. Bryce Cain likely at right corner with potential rotation from Carrington Valentine. Javon Bullard in the nickel. The Packers are institutionally resistant to playing first-round rookies — Lukas Van Ness made his first start in year three, average Packers first-round pick starts: six as a rookie. Benjamin St-Juste on the roster as emergency depth; Arif observed that if he sees St-Juste on the field at cornerback, something terrible has happened.

'''Kicker: Trey Smack'''
Perfect in preseason, hitting from 56, 58, and 59 yards. Background: grew up in Severna Park, Maryland, was a lacrosse player, pivoted to kicking when COVID eliminated other training options, earned a scholarship to Florida. On the relevance of his name to his profession: a Smack That video exists; Justis noted the creator may currently be in prison. The judge who sentenced Jacobs was briefly referred to as a "capital smacker" before Justis admitted he had forgotten the word "judge."

'''Coaching Staff'''
Described by Justis as "incestual" — every hire traceable to a prior personal or professional relationship with LaFleur or his coordinators. Key connections: Luke Getsy (quarterback coach, former offensive coordinator candidate, LaFleur's sleeper cell), DeMarcus Covington (promoted to assistant head coach), Noah Pauley (wide receivers, coaching fellowship alum), Sam Zeikel (defensive staff, former Gannon Arizona hire), Daniel Bullocks (cornerbacks, former Shanahan staffer), Bobby Babich (secondary coordinator, LaFleur's first DC interview candidate). Free-agent signings equally traceable: Skyy Moore (Shanahan), Javon Hargrave (Gannon), Tyler Taylor (Jason Vrable in Buffalo), Zaire Franklin (Gannon in Indianapolis), Caleb Johnson (Lester/Arthur Smith). LaFleur on record calling firing Joe Barry the hardest thing he has ever had to do.

'''Score Prediction'''
Justis: Packers 50,000, Vikings 3.

== Mailbag ==

* '''Jack Rackham''' — Is JJ McCarthy better than Drake Maye? Arif: not close, Maye is better. Maye's three-interception game against the Seahawks ended with a positive EPA per play — his receivers dropped passes (including Romeo Doubs), his offensive line was poor, and his success rate was high relative to other bad-game performances. The picks were his fault; they don't define his level of play. Arif compared him to Josh Allen: high ceiling, sometimes low floor.

* '''Arif's Pet Jimothy''' — Is Kwesi vindicated for moving on from Darnold, who won a Super Bowl and then got injured? Arif: technically yes, that is what happened. Is it entirely Kwesi's fault? Not really. Is Kwesi vindicated? Not exactly. The Seahawks would take it every time.

* '''Damian Bolsharif''' — How much should we ask the Seahawks for when they inevitably ask about trading for JJ McCarthy? James: a seventh round pick and a bag of Dick's (the beloved Seattle burger chain, where Arif and James once biked from a bar to eat). The Rams announced Ty Simpson as their third-string quarterback before the Australia game, opening the door for a Ty Simpson/JJ McCarthy swap as an alternative.

* '''Kyle Segall''' — Where do we get James's sultry vocals and precise sound editing after Norse Code ends? James: he is a voice actor for hire. Also does PA announcing for athletic events, where his disagreement with calls can be detected by a slight upward inflection — "personal foul, number seven, golden eagle, that's his third team — foul" — identifiable as Ron Burgundy energy.

* '''Alex (Hell League corner)''' — Auto-drafted two Packers: Trey Smack and Jayden Reed. Should they be cut? James: the existential crisis is the point. Arif: requests an automatic loss if either is dropped while healthy. Also from Alex: '''The Five Kickers Incident''' — I Hate Carmel, Indiana had drafted five starting kickers (Spencer Shrader, Jake Bates, Nick Folk, Matt Gay, Chad Ryland) with only two bench spots remaining. James caught it, called it out in the league, and the perpetrator fixed it after making a Discord scene about thinking the first week was free. Also from Alex: '''Vikings-Linear-Super-Bowl Trophy Update''' — after their offseason half-life decay, the Vikings hold half a trophy. If the Packers win week one, the trophy ceases to exist. If the Vikings win, the Bears can acquire a trophy in week two. The Seahawks hold a quarter, the Commanders a quarter, the Falcons three-sixteenths. Arif and James confirmed they do not know the rules they themselves invented.

* '''Tank B''' — Arif's mother messaged James asking why the Vikings signed a 37-year-old safety. James ignored her for two days. Analogy for explaining Harrison Smith: Tom Cruise is 64 and still playing a perpetual 38-year-old in Mission: Impossible, still doing his own stunts, still running at full speed. That is Harrison Smith. The thetans help. Also from Tank B, culinary corner: Arif recently cooked '''cottage pie''' — ground beef, not lamb — with his ex. He confirmed this was, technically, cottage pie, not Shepherd's Pie, while acknowledging nobody calls it that. He also shared a pork tenderloin sauce recipe: brown pork tenderloin, add olive oil and butter to the pan, add a shallot, quarter cup of dry vermouth, two-thirds cup chicken broth, three tablespoons Dijon mustard, two-thirds cup heavy whipping cream, fresh basil and parsley. Described as one of the most delicious sauces capable of being applied to pork; the triple batch is in the freezer.

* '''Nolan Kehler''' — If Nolan beats Arif in their week-one Hell League matchup, will he have to pay a tariff? Arif: yes, just for that. James: raise your hand and swear allegiance and you're fine.

* '''Arif's Midlife Crisis''' — For the Definitions Corner: are Phoebe from Friends, Walter White, Michael Scott, and Lorelai Gilmore petite bourgeoisie? Is Walter White proletariat as a teacher and union member? Arif: class in the original Marxist and Smithian sense is about relationship to the means of production, not income. Walter White is technically both proletariat (his teaching knowledge is not owned by him) and petite bourgeoisie (he runs a small business, which, regardless of revenue, employs fewer than 50 people and therefore qualifies legally as a small business — making him eligible for Small Business Saturday). A Data for Progress poll showing 8% of Americans don't consider the nanny from The Nanny to be working class was cited as evidence of poll noise comparable to the Lizard Man hypothesis (4% of Gallup respondents believe lizard men control society — not because they do, but because 4% of people give nonsense answers to polls). Also from Arif's Midlife Crisis: James has insisted in the Discord he can fix Elizabeth Holmes, who is currently in prison. Nathan Fielder's documentary trailer was discussed — described as "an Olympic-sized swimming pool of crazy behind those eyes." Arif's counterposition: he can also fix her. James confirmed he would be toast within approximately one exchange.

* '''Raul''' — Playing a professional football game after a 15-hour flight is counterintuitive even if the science is unclear. See Australia game discussion. Also from Raul: parenting corner — eldest has started kindergarten in Carmel, Indiana, a competitive academic environment. How does she win kindergarten? Arif: be able to read, raise her hand first. James: revealed he himself skipped kindergarten. His parents brought him in to discuss it; the principal (Dr. Rankleff, remembered fondly) noted that kindergarten is for social development, not academics. During this maturity discussion, James stole a paperweight off the principal's desk and began tossing it. He was still allowed to skip. He was subsequently nearly held back in fourth grade.

* '''Room Temperature''' — With Arif doing three podcasts this season (Norse Code, All Ball, 60 Minute Drill), is he winning the podcast Royal Rumble? Arif: he has not slept in 40 hours. He is losing by every measure.

* '''Minneapolis Cinnamon Cheerios''' — When can we expect James to start a podcast with David Roth? James proposed '''Scoop and the City''' with Dianna Russini. Arif immediately agreed this was the correct title.

* '''A Second Jet Has Hit Drew Bledsoe''' — For the Hypothetical Scenario Corner: would last year's Vikings be a playoff team if they'd ended up with Aaron Rodgers, and how much worse would Arif's mental health be? Arif: they might have won — last year had the talent. He would not have been talked into a second Rodgers season under any circumstances. If Rodgers had led a Super Bowl win it would be "the lowest leave-it-on-a-high-note moment in history," all Patreon bonus episodes would go to YouTube, and the remaining content would be Arif and James arguing about AI girlfriends. Also covered: Arif's column about Rodgers' Sandy Hook conspiracy beliefs — originally reported by Pamela Brown at CNN (Rodgers stated at the 2013 Kentucky Derby he didn't believe Sandy Hook happened, and separately a source reported he believed it was a false flag). Rodgers never denied the Kentucky Derby statement, only addressing one version of the conspiracy. Arif discussed the exhausting experience of having a reply in his mentions argue the CNN report was "unverified," a word they appeared not to understand. DK Metcalf's "shout out to my quarterback" post about Rodgers was the trigger.

* '''A Second Jet Has Hit Drew Bledsoe''' — For the Stadium Tour Corner: at which stadium are you allowed to sample the water from the urinal? Context: a sign at Levi's Stadium reads "WARNING: RECYCLED WATER, DO NOT DRINK" directly above a urinal. Arif concluded such signs exist because someone, at some point, did the thing the sign prohibits, invoking the no-boogie-boarding sign from How I Met Your Mother. The Lizard Man hypothesis was applied: if 4% of poll respondents believe lizard men control society, someone definitely drank the recycled urinal water at Levi's Stadium, possibly reasoning it came from a clean municipal source, or because they brought a dog. James noted it probably tastes like a Brita filter. The JMU bathroom with the window at the fifty-yard line was cited as a contrasting example of elite stadium bathroom design.

== Key Bits & Lore ==
* Justis Mosqueda appeared on time. James noted he did not know what to do with this information
* Arif made '''cottage pie''' (ground beef) with his ex and confirmed out loud that this is technically not [[Shepherd's Pie vs Cottage Pie|Shepherd's Pie]] — while also confirming nobody calls it cottage pie
* '''I Hate Carmel, Indiana''' drafted five starting kickers in the Hell League simultaneously. This has been resolved but will not be forgotten
* The '''Vikings-Linear-Super-Bowl Trophy''' is at half strength and ceases to exist if the Packers win week one
* James skipped kindergarten after stealing a paperweight off the principal's desk during a discussion about his maturity
* '''Scoop and the City''' — a James/Dianna Russini podcast — was named and immediately agreed upon. Has not been confirmed by anyone involved
* Arif on three concurrent podcasts: Norse Code, All Ball (with Drew McGarry, The Defector), and 60 Minute Drill. He has not slept in 40 hours
* James's closing statement: "the answer is Eric Hendricks, and I will not explain further"
* Nique Dennis-Sutton — 250-pound Packers edge rusher with a sub-7.3 three-cone — flagged as a likely future star
* Aaron Rodgers has thoughts on Matt LaFleur again, also revealed details about his relationship with Shailene Woodley that neither host wanted to know

[[Category:Episodes]]
[[Category:Season 2026]]

Episode Archive

Damian — Tue, 15 Sep 2026 01:06:51 GMT

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:06, 15 September 2026
(One intermediate revision by the same user not shown)
Line 9:		Line 9:
	{\| class="wikitable sortable" style="width:100%"		{\| class="wikitable sortable" style="width:100%"
	! style="width:60px" \| # !! Title !! Notes		! style="width:60px" \| # !! Title !! Notes
			\|-
			\| [[Episode 611\|611]] \|\| Scoop and the City \|\| ✓
	\|-		\|-
	\| [[Episode 610\|610]] \|\| I Yearn… \|\| ✓		\| [[Episode 610\|610]] \|\| I Yearn… \|\| ✓

Episode 610

Damian — Tue, 08 Sep 2026 14:37:35 GMT

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:37, 8 September 2026
Line 1:		Line 1:
	{{EpisodeInfobox		{{EpisodeInfobox
	\| number = 610		\| number = 610
	\| title = I~~'m Yearning~~		\| title = I Yearn
	\| hosts = Arif Hasan, James Pogatshnik		\| hosts = Arif Hasan, James Pogatshnik
	\| guests = None		\| guests = None
Line 7:		Line 7:
	}}		}}

	'''Norse Code Episode 610: I~~'m Yearning~~''' was the first episode of the show's final regular season, covering the Kyle Van Noy signing, the official 53-man roster, a division-wide preview of the Bears and Lions, and a mailbag that included a full breakdown of competitive Pokémon, the Clippers salary cap scandal, Frutiger Aero, and the Dejan Love romance scam. The episode opened with Arif announcing his new podcast, '''All Ball''', with Drew McGarry at The Defector.		'''Norse Code Episode 610: I Yearn''' was the first episode of the show's final regular season, covering the Kyle Van Noy signing, the official 53-man roster, a division-wide preview of the Bears and Lions, and a mailbag that included a full breakdown of competitive Pokémon, the Clippers salary cap scandal, Frutiger Aero, and the Dejan Love romance scam. The episode opened with Arif announcing his new podcast, '''All Ball''', with Drew McGarry at The Defector.

	== Overview ==		== Overview ==

Episode 610

Damian — Tue, 08 Sep 2026 14:36:11 GMT

Created page with "{{EpisodeInfobox | number = 610 | title = I'm Yearning | hosts = Arif Hasan, James Pogatshnik | guests = None | type = Regular Season }} '''Norse Code Episode 610: I'm Yearning''' was the first episode of the show's final regular season, covering the Kyle Van Noy signing, the official 53-man roster, a division-wide preview of the Bears and Lions, and a mailbag that included a full breakdown of competitive Pokémon, the Clippers salary cap sc..."

New page

{{EpisodeInfobox
| number = 610
| title = I'm Yearning
| hosts = Arif Hasan, James Pogatshnik
| guests = None
| type = Regular Season
}}

'''Norse Code Episode 610: I'm Yearning''' was the first episode of the show's final regular season, covering the Kyle Van Noy signing, the official 53-man roster, a division-wide preview of the Bears and Lions, and a mailbag that included a full breakdown of competitive Pokémon, the Clippers salary cap scandal, Frutiger Aero, and the Dejan Love romance scam. The episode opened with Arif announcing his new podcast, '''All Ball''', with Drew McGarry at The Defector.

== Overview ==
The cold open was dominated by the announcement that Arif would be co-hosting a new football podcast with Drew McGarry to replace The Distraction on The Defector's feed. The main episode covered the Kyle Van Noy practice squad signing, a detailed 53-man roster walkthrough, and a division preview of the Bears and Lions heading into week one. The mailbag ranged from cap math on Harrison Smith's potential return, to Bill Simmons's proxy betting scandal, to a detailed breakdown of Wolfe Glick's disappointing Pokémon World Championships run. The episode title emerged mid-show when Arif described his negotiating style with James as ending in "James, I'm yearning" — at which point both hosts confirmed it was the episode title.

== Segments ==

=== Cold Open: All Ball Announced ===
Arif announced that Drew McGarry (formerly of Deadspin and The Defector) is ending '''The Distraction''' and has invited Arif to co-host a new podcast called '''All Ball''' in its place. The show will be football-only — matchups, players, techniques — with no gambling lines or fantasy content. The first episode records the following week. A voiced intro has already been recorded. The show will run weekly during the season and figure out the offseason format as it goes.

James noted Awful Announcing has an existing Arif Hasan tag, sitting below Pablo Torre and above Stephen A. Smith, which Arif found disconcerting. The Deadspin collapse was briefly relitigated — the comment section of the Awful Announcing piece blamed Deadspin for its own death, a position both hosts dismissed given the documented involvement of Peter Thiel and the Hulk Hogan lawsuit.

Justis Mosqueda was announced as the guest for the following episode. James DMed him immediately without censoring himself. Arif noted Mosqueda had previously missed a recording by four hours after deciding to nap following the Thursday injury report, woke up hours later, and hopped on as if nothing had happened.

=== Kyle Van Noy Signing ===
Van Noy signed to the practice squad — not the active roster — making the signing less dramatic than it appeared. He can be promoted up to four times before requiring a full roster spot, and Arif expected him to be a regular game-day elevation.

Van Noy's history with Brian Flores is extensive: Miami Dolphins 2020, and prior to that New England, where the question of who was actually running the defence between Bill and Steve Belichick was always murky. Steve Belichick was briefly noted as having resigned from North Carolina amid a recruiting staff scandal that Arif described as significantly worse than what was publicly known.

Van Noy's 2020 Dolphins usage was highly versatile — 246 pass-rush snaps, 254 coverage snaps, 31 pressures, five sacks — exactly the Flores defence mould. His 2024 pressure total (27) was down from his peak years (52 in 2022, 48 in 2023), suggesting some decline, but the fit within the system's required versatility is more relevant than raw output. The signing was also a direct response to Tyler Batty's season-ending injury. Arif assessed him as a partial Jamal Adams replacement in usage terms, with some of Adams' snaps going to Van Noy, some to Jaye Ngata, some to Jay Ward, and some to Josh Metellus.

=== The 53-Man Roster ===
Arif's full assessment of the final roster:

'''Quarterbacks''': The team briefly carried four before settling on three — Kyler Murray, Carson Wentz, and JJ McCarthy. Max Brosmer on the practice squad. Arif's read was that the Vikings were still seeking a trade partner for McCarthy, kept Brosmer on the roster temporarily to ensure three QBs remained during any trade window, and ultimately kept McCarthy because he offered more upside than Brosmer and someone would likely take a flyer on a former first-round pick.

'''Tight ends''': Both Gavin Bartholomew and Ben Yurosek made the team, which was a minor surprise — four tight ends kept. Bryson Nesbit also on the roster.

'''Offensive line''': Walter Rouse was traded away, which Arif noted was the rare Vikings trade where reporters covering the receiving team reached out to confirm the player was actually good. Trevor Keegan and Nick Samac were added via waivers — both capable of snapping the ball, which was apparently the priority. Caleb Tiernan kept despite poor preseason performance (third-round pick protections). Ryan Vandermark assessed as deserving a roster spot.

'''Running backs''': Deone Claiborne made it; Xavier Gipson did not and was claimed by the Chicago Bears. Arif assessed Claiborne as the correct call despite Gipson being the better runner, given Gipson's catastrophic pass-protection issues.

'''Wide receivers''': No surprises. Myles Price and Ty Felton locked in. Dylan Bell briefly made the 53 before being waived to accommodate the offensive linemen added via waivers.

'''Defensive tackles''': Six kept, including Elijah Williams, who Arif had been uncertain about given competition. Ceriah Doakins confirmed as a defensive tackle. Caleb Banks on the team but the subject of a Wide Left piece titled "Easy Time to Panic About Caleb Banks." Jalen Redmond, Levi Drake Rodriguez, and Doakins likely the starting three.

'''Edge''': Chas Chambliss kept — described as someone the coaching staff was clearly never going to cut. Bo Richter kept after Tyler Batty's season-ending injury. Kyle Van Noy on the practice squad as edge three.

'''Cornerbacks''': Five kept. Nazir Stackhouse as the fifth corner; Devon Armstead did not make it. Chuck Dennis fighting for CB3 as anticipated.

'''Safeties''': Jay Ward's versatility noted again. Jacoby Thomas confirmed as third-round pick, expected to contribute.

=== Around the Division ===

'''Chicago Bears'''
Drew Dalman retired abruptly, forcing the Bears to sign Garrett Bradbury — leading Arif to observe that Bradbury might now be, improbably, the best centre in the NFC North. DJ Moore traded to the Buffalo Bills. The Bears' secondary is a disaster zone: no Daunte Manning, no Kobe Bryant (just signed, now injured), Kyler Gordon out. Tyrique Stevenson starting at corner — the player who trash-talked during a Hail Mary that directly preceded a legendary Bears collapse. Ahmed Hassanein, their third-string edge rusher, briefly profiled as a former internationally competitive CrossFit athlete who may be eligible for an O-1 extraordinary-ability visa, and who brings a level of practice-field energy both hosts admired.

'''Detroit Lions'''
Both Kerby Joseph and Brian Branch began the year on PUP at safety, leaving Chuck Clark and Avonte Maddox as the starters — thin by Lions standards. Derrick Moore, their second-round edge rusher, drew scepticism from Arif (PFF preseason grade of 70.9, two pressures in 25 snaps). Kade Mays injured at centre; Juice Scruggs (acquired from Houston) starting in his place. Penei Sewell moved from right to left tackle. Tate Ratledge flagged as a year-two breakout candidate. Jameson Williams has posted two 1,000-yard seasons that Arif noted were better than his reputation suggested — but not as good as his statistics suggested. Jordan Addison has yet to post a single 1,000-yard season. Isaac TeSlaa assessed as a bad third receiver. Jahmyr Gibbs identified as the highest-paid running back in the league. Jack Fox lauded as an outstanding punter.

=== Punter Update ===
Brett Thorson won the punter battle over Johnny Hekker. Critically: he can hold. James observed this with a tone suggesting mild existential unease.

== Mailbag ==

* '''Nick Howard''' — Why is Max Brosmer back, even as a practice-squad quarterback? Arif: it is difficult to identify more than 100 people currently willing and able to play quarterback better than Brosmer. That number does not include retired legends. Those who might beat him at rank 60–140 don't know the offense. Nick Mullens would have been preferable on the practice squad, but the decision is not unreasonable.

* '''Will Melvin''' — If Harrison Smith were to return, what date would make the most sense? Arif: any time after week one. Veterans signed after the first game carry a lower cap hit relative to guaranteed money — the team commits less while paying the veteran minimum. Smith's role also differs significantly from Jamal Adams', making him a genuine fit question rather than a direct replacement.

* '''Free9''' — CJ Stroud turned down $50 million per year seeking $60 million. What will JJ McCarthy demand when his contract expires? Arif: the $50 million figure is not as remarkable as it sounds — the salary cap has nearly doubled since Kirk Cousins signed his $30 million fully-guaranteed contract in 2018 ($177M cap then vs $300M now). Cousins would command over $60M today. Stroud wanting $50M+ as a solid top-half quarterback is reasonable. McCarthy will not be signing a second contract with the Vikings, so the comparison is moot.

* '''A Second Jet Has Hit Drew Bledsoe''' — For Hamez's Hell League corner: Yahoo is advertising Cameo appearances for fantasy draft order picks. What is the most inappropriate celebrity to hire for this? James and Arif landed on Reggie Watts — available for $123 — given the Rolling Stone allegations, which Arif described as "catastrophically bad" and "bone-chilling" behind a promotional tweet Rolling Stone framed as merely him being a bad boyfriend. Jonathan Frakes from Ripley's Believe It or Not was proposed as a wholesome alternative.

* '''Skimbleshanks''' — Where does this year rank in weirdness of vibes heading into the season? The hosts reviewed the full show history: 2013 (weird, early Peterson uncertainties), 2014 (least weird — new coach, adorable quarterback, medical flag was that his heart was too big), 2016 (Teddy Bridgewater's injury), 2018 (Kirk Cousins stink), 2020–2021 (COVID, least-vaccinated team in the league, the popemobile proposal), 2022 (cautious optimism for KOC). Assessment: 2026 is a low-weirdness-vibe year by historical standards. The J.J. McCarthy situation does not reach the level of a quarterback's knee exploding or the impending doom of Mike Zimmer.

* '''Skimbleshanks''' — Browns/Deshaun Watson versus Clippers/Kawhi Leonard — which is the worse trade-plus-contract situation? Context: the NBA imposed five first-round pick forfeitures, a $30 million fine to owner Steve Ballmer, a $700,000 fine to Kawhi Leonard, a one-year ban on Ballmer from his own arena, and suspensions for the GM and VP. Arif: Deshaun Watson. The Clippers' situation is damaging but not terminal — they can still be competitive eventually, and Kawhi Leonard seems cool. The Browns cannot escape Watson, cannot get rid of him due to the contract structure, and Jimmy Haslam is in a different category of detestable. ESPN's handling was also criticised: a Dan Van Natta/Ramona Shelburne piece two weeks earlier had said no sanctions were coming; Shelburne had conducted a sit-down interview with Steve Ballmer and never pressed him on the investigation. Pablo Torre, who had reported the story correctly and received significant public abuse for it, was vindicated.

* '''Damian Bolsharif''' — For Dusty's gambling corner: which host is most likely to be caught placing proxy bets? Answer established: Arif. Follow-up: which inappropriate acquaintance would he use to place them, and why is the answer James's ex-wife? Arif confirmed the answer was actually one of his own exes, and described his decision-making process as: James lists every reason it is a catastrophically bad idea, Arif says "yeah, James, you're right, James, I get it, James, I'm yearning." Both hosts confirmed "I'm yearning" as the episode title. James proposed "Who Hurt You" as an alternative. Bill Simmons's proxy betting situation — which involved encouraging his daughter's boyfriend to place bets on his behalf, multiple laws violated, all bets cancelled, a FanDuel relationship under review, and no apology to Pablo Torre — was covered as context.

* '''Kenneth Allen''' — Will All Ball be better with a good or bad Viking season? Arif: the dynamic differs from Norse Code — Arif converts Viking misery into comedy as a defence mechanism; Drew McGarry actually feels the pain and gets annoyed at that approach. The podcast will probably be more entertaining with a bad season, but a good season might get Arif sent to a playoff game at The Defector's expense, which he stated publicly and without consulting anyone at The Defector.

* '''Arif's Midlife Crisis''' — For the All Ball corner: the trailer sounds like the Dragon Ball Z intro guy. Is this a podcast about Dragon Ball Z? James refused to confirm or deny watching anime. Arif did not extend him that courtesy, describing James as having "lied to the audience about this for years" and declining to provide cover. James suggested asking Roger Ebert's ChatGPT for a summary of the Frieza arc.

* '''Village YAC Monger''' — What is the ideal aesthetic for digital media — Frutiger Aero or Global Village Coffeehouse? James described Frutiger Aero as the Windows Vista glass aesthetic — rounded, shiny, semi-translucent — still solid design principles, just dated. Global Village Coffeehouse was described as late-90s warm browns and oranges, cluttered clip-art energy, the visual language of Microsoft Encarta, the label on a CD-ROM. Arif: Frutiger Aero is actually good design and merely dated; Global Village Coffeehouse is not objectively good design but triggered a profound nostalgia wave, partly because Arif grew up in Grand Forks, North Dakota, which runs a few years behind the rest of the country aesthetically. He discovered an active subreddit for this during recording and had a moment. Both agreed examples would be in the show notes. Amazon Trail 2 was cited as the spiritual home of the Global Village Coffeehouse aesthetic.

* '''LeVar''' — For the Lenin-Bron corner: what quote would make you quit your job as a newspaper editor and lead a Georgian socialist revolution? Arif: Karl Marx is, surprisingly, an outstanding writer in his letters and the Manifesto — not in Capital, which is academic — and has genuinely sick burns. He had not looked up a specific quote pre-show. James's actual answer: something in Eve 6's "Here's to the Night." Arif noted Max Collins has since disowned those lyrics, calling this devastating.

* '''Kyle Segall''' — How weird is it to do a podcast you know is ending — is it like going back to work after the doctor tells you you've only got a few months to live? Arif answered via the story of a woman he briefly dated who had been misdiagnosed with a terminal illness for a year. He learned about it from his roommate, processed this by sending her a Facebook Messenger message that said "hey, so you're dying?" She confirmed she was not dying. She had been told she was fine weeks earlier. Arif asked if she was suing. She said she was alive. He said he understood. The relationship did not last. Arif's current assessment: doing the podcast does not feel like putting gas in a car he has already wrecked. The Drew McGarry announcement made him genuinely excited.

* '''Room Temperature''' — In your younger days, how many women could you have scammed into thinking you were a pro athlete? James: before college he was unreasonably fit for his activity level, had a six-pack for unclear reasons, could run faster and lift more than expected, but high school debate consumed the years when this might have mattered. Would have passed as a UND walk-on at best. Arif: as someone who has been 6'4"–6'5" for most of his life and is extremely online, probably could have done what Dejan Love did — a romance scammer who distributed turkey giveaways on Instagram with no location or time listed, scammed at least 26 women out of a combined $1.3 million, and earned grudging respect for the depth of his commitment to the bit. Arif appeared on an episode of Kill the Computer with James (the podcast host, not James Pogatshnik) covering the story in detail.

* '''Deez''' — For the VGC corner: break down Wolfe Glick's most recent tournament team and why it came up short, using language only two percent of listeners will understand. Arif confirmed this is about competitive Pokémon, specifically the official doubles format (VGC). He described Wolfe Glick as by most measures the greatest player in the history of the format and by far its most popular content creator. Arif noted he had reached the top 8,000 on the ranked ladder two weeks prior, which he considers a personal landmark. Glick's tournament team: Mega Staraptor, Tyranitar, Excadrill, Gholdengo, Fuecoco, Whimsicott. An off-meta sand team bringing both Tailwind and Trick Room — exceptionally difficult to pilot. The team was strong into the dominant "Big Six" meta (Charizard, Florges, Basculegion, Kingambit, Whimsicott, Garchomp) but had significant elemental weaknesses and required near-perfect execution. Glick went 5-3 with the second-most difficult schedule of anyone finishing 5-3, placing 59th. Arif expects a postmortem video in a couple of months and noted Glick has, without exaggeration, reframed his relationship to competition more than any other competitor he has encountered.

== Key Bits & Lore ==
* '''All Ball''' is announced — Arif's new weekly football podcast with Drew McGarry at The Defector, replacing The Distraction
* Arif is writing a book. It has not been written yet. It will be published in approximately two years. Everything will go sideways
* Brett Thorson won the punter battle. He can hold
* [[Xavier Gipson]] was claimed by the Chicago Bears off waivers
* Walter Rouse was traded; reporters covering the receiving team reached out to confirm he was good, which Arif described as a recurring and slightly surreal pattern in his career
* Bill Simmons's proxy betting situation covered in detail — FanDuel relationship under review, no apology to Pablo Torre
* The Clippers lost five first-round picks and $30 million; Steve Ballmer is banned from his own arena for a calendar year
* Arif reached the top 8,000 on the Pokémon Champions ranked ladder two weeks prior to recording. He is no longer there. The moment was great
* Eve 6's "Here's to the Night" remains the correct answer to most questions involving personal motivation and socialist revolution
* Global Village Coffeehouse has a subreddit. Arif discovered this live on air and had to take a moment
* The episode title "I'm Yearning" was confirmed mid-mailbag; "Who Hurt You" was proposed as an alternative and rejected

[[Category:Episodes]]
[[Category:Season 2026]]

Episode Archive

Damian — Tue, 08 Sep 2026 14:06:14 GMT

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:06, 8 September 2026
Line 9:		Line 9:
	{\| class="wikitable sortable" style="width:100%"		{\| class="wikitable sortable" style="width:100%"
	! style="width:60px" \| # !! Title !! Notes		! style="width:60px" \| # !! Title !! Notes
			\|-
			\| [[Episode 610\|610]] \|\| I Yearn… \|\| ✓
	\|-		\|-
	\| [[Episode 609\|609]] \|\| The Physicality of Christian Ponder \|\| ✓		\| [[Episode 609\|609]] \|\| The Physicality of Christian Ponder \|\| ✓